He's Just My Best Friend | a Kakashi love story

Chapter 25

Our mission was simple. We had to take an important scroll to the Land of Iron, and make sure their leader received it. Why they needed two top level jonin to do this mission, I didn't know, but I assume it's because we're understaffed at the moment. It was fine though. I honestly didn't mind this type of mission. I got to spend time with Kakashi, it wasn't too far away, and the likelihood of us being attacked on the way was slim. It made it easier to just let my mind wander and think.

This time, I was thinking about Sasuke. How could I get him to see that he didn't need revenge? I was honest when I said I didn't need it. Why was that? Maybe because I found happiness in my friends, in Sasuke, and in Kakashi. Maybe it's because I had experienced death before the massacre and knew better how to move past it. But why didn't I seek revenge for Rin? Or Minato? Should I have hated the Mist for what they did to Rin? Or should I hate Naruto because of the Nine Tails? Maybe. But I didn't. Sure, I wish things were different. I wish none of them had ever died, but I didn't hate the people who made it happen.

I did hate Itachi to a degree, though. There are many reason for it. One, he killed our entire family. That's reason enough in my mind. Two, he came to me and asked for help, and then didn't take it. Three, he tortured Sasuke. Twice. And Four, he never allowed me to know the truth. Why did he tell me about the coup and about Danzo's offer if he didn't intend to take my help? Why did he move forward when he said he would wait until I got back? What happened in that week to make him lose it? Or was he really just evil all along, and he gave me a heads up about it? Was he really testing his abilities? Could I have stopped him if I was there? Could I have taken his role if he truly had one? There were so many questions that only he could answer, and that's why I hated him. I moved on from the deaths themselves as I always did. I still missed everyone, and it still hurt, but I would consider myself over it. But I could never move on completely until I knew what really happened, and he wouldn't allow it. He forbid me from having closure.

"What's going on? You look troubled." Kakashi said, peering over his book to look at me. I sighed. He's too good. He always knows when something is wrong.

"I've been thinking about Itachi." I said flatly. I wanted to talk about it, and Kakashi was honestly the only person I could talk to about him, but it was still hard. He nodded, telling me to continue if I wanted to. "I just don't get it. I've been over everything I know about the massacre hundreds of times, and I just can't figure it out." I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. I'm usually able to problem solve, but this problem didn't have a solution.

"Maybe I can help? We've never been though the information together." He shrugged. He was right. We talked a lot about that night, but we never fully went into all of the details. I always tried to figure them out alone. Kakashi has always been smarter than me, so maybe he could help? But did I want to share everything? One of my questions was could I have stopped it with my plan, which did include marrying someone else. Would he be offended? Or understand that I thought I was doing what was right? Would I still make the same choice today, knowing that Kakashi loves me?

"Alright." I took a deep breath. "So, the night before I left on the Sand mission, I noticed Itachi looking more upset than usual. More distant. I asked him what was wrong, and he agreed to talk to me about it." I started. I always wondered why he chose to. Why talk about it if he didn't want help?

"So assume we know nothing else, is this out of the ordinary?" Kakashi put his book away, sensing that this would require his full attention. I thought about it, and not really.

"No. Because he was supposed to take over the clan, this happened often. He was more distressed looking than usual though." I tried to be as objective as I could. Itachi and I often met to talk about clan stuff. He asked my advice sometimes, but usually we just ranted about how things would be better when he took over. I sighed. "So then, when I met him, he told me about the coup." I stated, eyes fixed on the ground as we walked. I was concentrating on remembering everything so we'd have a chance of figuring it out. I didn't want to leave out any detail.