PREVIU || Pemuja Heroga

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"You ordered what? A boyfriend? How did you order a boyfriend??" tanya Jasmine dengan riak tak percaya. "What dating site is this? I don't think Tinder works like this."

"It's nothing like Tinder," jawabku dalam keluhan. "It's a weird site a found. Like... creating a male Sims and assign its build and traits, except that this is human. Real human. And I created a boyfriend for myself... for tonight... for two hours... but the more I talk about this, the more stupid it sounds. Jasmine, what do I do? I should cancel it, right? Ya, I probably should..."

"Don't!" Jasmine menyampuk apabila aku capai komputer riba di tepi untuk membatalkan pertemuan malam ini. "Wait, think about it. What's the worst that's gonna happen? You don't like the boyfriend that you ordered and you lost some money, that's all. Just give it a shot. If he's not fun to be with, call it a day and go back home."

"I said he's on the way... He's coming over to Netflix and chill with me for two hours. That's the package I bought."

Jasmine melopong lagi. "Girl, first of all, you don't invite any strangers home! Second of all, and most importantly to be honest, you're a celebrity and living alone!"

"I'm not a celebrity!" bangkangku, tak suka dengan gelaran itu. "And to my defense, I can't go out and be seen with him! What if people find out about him and what he do? That will jeopardize my whole career. So staying indoors and chilling at home makes the best sense," betahku.

"Not a celebrity but can't be seen in public to avoid rumours; sounds convincing, Miss Naida," Jasmine menyindir. "But still... the first rule taught when we were kids, do not talk to strangers, left alone inviting them over! You live alone, Dana! What if something happens? You should have rented a love hotel or some airbnb shit, homestay, whatever for this casual hook-up; just not your place because it's dangerous! Geez, I never thought this day would come where I have to teach you Hooking Up 101."

Hati sensitifku mahu tersinggung dengan ceramah panjang Jasmine. Tapi logik otakku serentak bersetuju dengan semua yang Jasmine katakan. Bagaimana aku boleh sebodoh itu memberikan maklumat peribadi, termasuk alamat tempat tinggalku, gara-gara tidak mahu dilihat orang?

Alasan bodoh apa tu?

"I will cancel then. It's settled."

"They got your address already, Dana. And you said he's already on the way. So I'd say... just ride the dick," pintas Jasmine. Apabila aku membulatkan mataku, dia menyambung. "Or the wave, though I'd prefer the dick. Whatever. Just try. I don't think it's harmful, but just in case, you have my number on speed dial, right? Just call me, I know what to do."

Aku meneguk liur. "You sure this is harmless?"

"Yes, look at me. I'm still alive after all the hook-ups I had, aren't I?" pujuk Jasmine.

Saat itu, siapa lagi boleh aku percaya kalau bukan Jasmine the Fling Queen? Aku terima nasihatnya dan mula menenangkan diri. "Okay. But honestly, I don't put too much hope. I mean... yes, I created his simulated face and physique and it would be luck if the boyfriend that arrives is exactly what I asked for. But honestly, I just want a company. An escape..."

"What criteria did you ask for?" Jasmine sudah berhenti meninggikan suara seperti tadi. Malah, dia kedengaran ikhlas mahukan cerita lanjut daripadaku.

"There isn't many options to begin with. But I tried my luck and checked for extra tall boyfriend for the preferred physique cause..." Aku mengangkat bahu dan tersenyum nipis. Jasmine faham; aku jauh lebih tinggi berbanding kebanyakan wanita Asia. "Then I added in the description for custom requests like soft-spoken, caring, loving, understanding..."

"Woah!" Jasmine ketawa. "You don't need those. If there's an option for big dick and good stamina, that's all you need, baby girl."

Aku mencerlungkan mataku. "I told you we're gonna Netflix and chill. That's the package I selected because you're right; I'm lonely and too aloof. I need a fake boyfriend for two hours to get my creative juice flowing again."

"Juice..." Jasmine mengusik.

"Stop it..." pintaku lalu menutup wajah. Entah kenapa terasa berbahang.

"You do know 'Netflix and chill' does not literally mean Netflix and chill, right?" tanya Jasmine dengan muka bosan.

Aku menurunkan tangan. Panikku datang semula. "What do you mean? It's chilling while watching movies on TV. What else could it be?"