Our misery's ~ Bucky XReader

Chapter 17

You woke up in your bed with red puffy eyes and in the worst mood ever.Normally you'd wake up at seven or eight but checking your phone you saw that it was half ten in the morning.

"Late start to the day Y/n." Emma said and you nodded.

"I'm going out today, I don't know when I'll be back because I'm going to the home and maybe libary."

"Is everything okay?" She asked and you notice Bucky walk in.

"Fucking peachy." you mumbled and made a cup of coffee not even giving bucky a second glance.

You walked back to your room and got ready.

***

"I don't know what to do James, I messed up and I said I was sorry, I thanked him for looking after me yet he said the cruelest things." you said and swayed dancing softly with Mr Richardson. You had put on Dorothy's song and he had asked you to dance.

"I don't know doll, you like this Bucky don't you?"

"He had become a close friend, someone who I could talk to and he could understand what I meant and maybe I did feel a different way towards him, but I don't know if that's still there anymore."

"You said he is getting closer with your best friend in a romantic way?"

You nodded. "I  understand why he's mad at me, I was immature, but I couldn't control it, and I acted out."

"Sweetheart, you could let him calm down, take it from an old man, if you want something fixed you need to put the effort in to fix it."

"I don't know James." you sighed and hugged him.

"He's an idiot if he lets you go."

"I think I'm the idiot that lost him." you sighed and he just held you.

***

You had been sitting in the dark libary for hours, everyone was at home so it was just you. Everything felt so peaceful. The only to distract you was the broken light above you that kept flickering and making noises.

Your phone lit up and you saw you had two miss calls from Emma. You quickly called her back.

"Oh thank god y/n!"

"What's happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah everyone's fine I just wanted to know how long you'd be? I have to go down to my sisters, she needs help with Jason."

"Is he okay?"You said putting the phone between your head and shoulder as you collected all of your belongings.

"He should be, he's just running a really hot fever and he's not eating so Jess wants be down their."

"Okay, I'm on my way, I guess you want me to put Becca to bed."

"Please, she won't sleep with anyone else."

"Okay I'm leaving now." you said leaving and locking the libary door.

"Thank you y/n! I'm just about to leave."

"Okay I'll see you later."

"Love you."

"Love you too."You ended the call and got into your car.

***

Once you stepped through the door you could already hear Rebecca crying. She was tired as it was nine at night and her normal bed is seven. "Y/n." she said after seeing you and ran up to you.

"Hello princess." you picked her up and she just laid her head into your shoulder.You looked up to see who she was with and you saw Bucky.

"Good night Beck." He said ignoring your presence.

"Goodnight buck." She replied as you walked past him to get to her bedroom, that was next to Emma's.

It didn't take long for beck to settle down beside you and get to sleep so you was out of her room pretty quickly.

"Y/n can I have a word?" Steve said looking at you as you wrote in your book.

"Sure." you closed it and looked up at him.

"What happened the other day?" He asked and sat beside you. Your thoughts went straight to the argument you had with Bucky.

No wonder your so alone, your too stupid to see who care for you so you just use them.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you had an argument with Bucky."

"Okay?"

"What happened?"

"Steve, honestly thank you for being concerned but if he hasn't told you I'm not going to. I messed up and he lashed out I get it."

"He said that he had a good reason so if it's serious tell me, I'm here for the both of you. You can trust me y/n."

"Last person I trusted used what I told them against me, I'm not doing it anymore. Why else would tony pay for my therapy if he didn't want to talk?" You gathered your book and pen in hand and got of the chair. "Ive come to realise people already have enough shit on their plate without me adding to it." You started to walk away but he grabbed ahold of your arm making you turn back.

"You know that's not true, anyone here would gladly let you talk to them."

"Really? Including you Steve?" He nodded. "Then tell me why no one called to check up everyone and then when I lived in my apartment. Not even my brother Steve, so if everyone is so eager to get me to talk how come no one called?" He stayed quiet trying to think. "Good night Steve."

You left him in the kitchen and then left the building. You needed some fresh air.

You knew it wasn't anyone's job to check up on you or look after you, but they make it sound like they have been there for you. The only person who has been is Emma.

You felt your chest tighten a little causing you to rub it as you sat down leaning up the wall.
You mind went straight to panic attack but you had only had one before why would you have another?

The tightness continued and you found it increasing the difficult to breath. You started to panic a little as you was outside and no one could help you.

Salty tears clouded your eyes causing your vision to blur. You could feel your palms get increasingly sweatier but you just focused on your breathing.

"Hello?" Some one called out.You couldn't answer.
You saw a shadow in the ground beside you.

***
Bucky PoV

After seeing y/n on the floor gasping for air he quickly understood what was happening. He quickly removed her hoodie to relieve the claustrophobic feeling she may have felt. However underneath her jumper she was only wearing a bra. He looked away from her trying to give her privacy but quickly took off his tank top for her to wear.

"Shhh." He whispered towards her trying not to close. "It's okay." He saw y/ns breathing flatten out a bit meaning she was nearly okay. Without him knowing he had gotten closer to her and she had gently rested her head on his bare chest.

He hated doing this to her, being an asshole and pushing her away then comforting her. It wasn't fair for him but most importantly for her.