Crush x reader One Shots

You're so beautiful.

Usually I want you as my readers to figure out the meaning behind some of my oneshots. But in times like this, I think I should just point out, that :

This was written in dedication for the people who's mental health has worsened throughout this Covid 19 lockdown.

You're not alone in this.

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Your eyes stare at the mirror in front of you.
The reflection looked right at you as you analysed your body.

Thick thighs
Chubby stomach
Non existent jawline
Fat arms
Crooked teeth.
Rough skin.

All those imperfections, you noticed. Yes you may have been working out but your efforts still didn't pay off. For what stared right back at you wasn't just your reflection, but who you really were.

I'm not good enough
I'm ugly.

Tears begin to well up in your eyes as you continue to stare. You can still remember all the names, all the times when your parents shamed you for your body.

"Y/n you can't eat this cake yet. You're too fat"
"Wow that butt is huge, it looks heavy now."
"Why is it that every time you walk, it sounds so heavy? When I was your age I wasn't like that."
"You're fat Y/n. No guy would ever want you."
"Honestly all you ever DO is sit on your bed. You never exercise!"

Truth is, you actually have been exercising and trying to get the perfect body. But their comments still kept coming and coming. You didn't believe it all at first, but this was the first time you've actually been hit with the reality. As of now, there is an ongoing Covid 19 pandemic. You were actually quite relieved when the government announced school was over, because you didn't have to feel sad all the time. However, you never thought about how you'd feel at home.

Your mouth begins to quiver as you pinch the excess skin in your stomach. Then, as you kept pinching- you finally reached your breaking point and broke down.

Muffled sobs wracked your chest as you tried to get your thoughts to just shut up.

Starve. Starve. STARVE.

All of a sudden you heard a ringing tune. You slowly shift your gaze to see that it was coming from your laptop. C/n was calling.
You carefully got up from the floor and vigorously wiped your tears before picking up. C/n's face then appeared on your screen but out of sheer panic, you switched off your camera.

I don't want him to see how ugly I really am.

"Hey there my ray of sunshine! What's up?"

C/n shifted his C/h/c hair to the side and squints at the camera.

"Y/n, how come I can't see your camera?" C/n questions "I think it's off. You should turn it on!"

You gulped and said nothing. You would hang up but you didn't want to seem rude.

"I.. I just don't want to C/n"

"What do you mean silly? Turn the camera on now! I need to know that there's still some civilization out there despite this Quarantine bs!"

You bite your lip and sniffled. Reluctant to do so, you turn on your video camera and wave at C/n.

"Happy now?" You force a smile.

C/n's whole body freezes. The only thing that was really moving were his eyes. His eyebrows begin knitting together.

"Hang on.. your cheeks are puffy and your eyes look swollen," C/n comments "Y/n are you okay?"

You look down at your hands and tug at the hem of your shirt.

"Yeah.." you mumble, eyes staring at your thighs which you thought were so large "I'm fine.."

A sigh escapes C/n's lips at your reply.

"Girl, I can tell when you're lying to me" C/n points out "you do realise you can tell me anything, right?"

You didn't want to cry, but that's exactly what happened. The emotions poured out once again, as if you didn't just have a mental breakdown about this a minute ago.

"Y/n...don't worry... It's going to be okay.. This feeling will pass,"

"I'm just so...so ugly C/n" you whimpered, burying yourself in your arms "Why did I have to be born like this?! I can't take any of this anymore. The names, the taunting, it's all too much for me to handle-"

"Y/n I want you to listen to me very carefully," C/n instructs, slamming the side of his desk to get your attention.              "Don't do this to yourself. You're legit so beautiful. You have so much to live for... So much to experience. You're loved Y/n. I especially do. I love you. You may not see that but I do. You're beautiful just the way you are. You don't see how your eyes light up whenever you're interested in something, you don't see your smile when you laugh. I do, I see that. And let me tell you now, it's so beautiful. You're beautiful."

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PLEASE READ

I want to take this oneshot as an opportunity to address the corona pandemic thing that's been going on.

You may be tired of people hearing the "I hope you're well" line over and over again from many people. But I do sincerely hope that you are, especially in times like this. You may be someone who is dealing with someone getting Covid 19, someone whose mental health has worsened because of it or were robbed of your education, school year etc...

These times are hard for all of us in some way, but we're all in this together. On a slightly less serious note, at least we'll be in the history textbooks and who knows? This message may even be on it.

Until the next update!

-H.A