Chapter 36

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I had almost forgotten it was Christmas Eve today until the beautiful voice of George Michael filled the halls as the song Last Christmas played on the radio. Today was the day. The day I had to tell Damien what I found out last week. 

I was nervous for his reaction, what if he reacted how he did when he found out about Rhys. There's a chance that he won't, but he could change, it only takes a split second for someone to change back to how they used to be. Yes, he's a changed man but can I trust that he won't become the old him? 

No, I couldn't. I couldn't trust that he wouldn't change, I would never trust that he wouldn't change. Ever. But who would? No one ever trusts that people can't change, the slightest amount of trouble could change how people are in a split second. I changed, I'm not the fragile, frail little girl I used to be, I'm a mother now and I have to be strong for both Rhys and myself. 

The piercing cry of my son forced me away from my little conversation with myself and a pit formed in my stomach as I realised that this was it. Once Rhys was ready we could be out of this place. My footsteps echoed through the halls as I made my way towards Rhys's bedroom. "Good morning darling, I hope you slept well." I chirped when I entered the room. "It's your first Christmas with daddy today," I opened the curtains and noticed Rhys had started to climb the bars of his cot. 

I sighed and picked him up from his cot and took him over to the changing mat. "Let's change that nappy of yours and get you dressed." This is the part of my morning that I don't look forward to.

****

The music grew louder and I walked closer towards the kitchen with Rhys where Damien was stood making breakfast with Mary-Jane. "Good morning baby, did you sleep well?" He asked. 

"Mhm," I nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I slept well," I answered robotically.

"There's something wrong." I didn't entertain his idea of there being something wrong which emitted a sigh from his mouth. "Mary-Jane, could you check on my mother, please? I haven't heard her wake up yet this morning." 

"Of course," She answered sweetly and left us alone. The silence grew heavy and the room became hot. 

"Marley," He spoke as he kneeled on the floor in front of me, "this is a two-way thing, I won't know what's wrong unless you tell me because unfortunately, I don't have the ability read your mind, my love." He chuckled. 

"There is something wrong, well it's not wrong but I don't know how you will take it." I fidget with my fingers and play with my t-shirt as he stares at me. His hand reach out to grab my hands and I release a shaky breath. 

"Do you think there's anything I will take in a bad way when it comes from you?" I thought about it. 

"Well yes, but this, I just don't know how you will take it. You haven't taken things like this very well beforehand." 

"So I've been told this sort of thing before?" 

"Yes." The room grew silent again. 

"Okay," he paused, "Did you... did you sleep with someone else?" He asked hesitantly. 

"No!" I yelled, scaring both Damien and Rhys, "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell I just didn't want you to start thinking the worst." 

"It had already started." He chuckled nervously. 

"I'm pregnant." He stayed silent. "I-I found out last week, I went to see my doctor for my monthly check when I visited dad and she told me I was pregnant. I was going to tell you last week but I couldn't seem to form the words and I thought it would be nice to say on Christmas Eve. I am now second-guessing that idea." 

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