REINCARNATE

30, silence.

"There were days when we sat together quietly, and I couldn't believe that the girl sitting before me was her. She was so, utterly crushed of life, it was like her spirit was gone and she just became this empty shell, a doll really. Not even I could hold her attention for long, and this was especially during a time when I was struggling too. The hospital staff treated us well, but it wasn't until one of her friends sent her some strawberry mochi. It reminded her of Nakamura, and I think it was after one final, really intense cry, when she finally approached me and started talking. Usually, when you lose someone you love, you tend to become attached to anything and anyone that reminds you of them, it's just part of grieving. But the thing was, Nakamura never would've wanted her to wither away like that, and that's what pushed her back onto her feet."

"Y/n can't afford to break down a second time, even she knows. She'll be graduating in a few weeks and moving on with her life so I can't tie her down like this. Knowing her, she'll be fighting but I need you to be there for her."

[PRIVATE DM: Ken.ta]

Y/n: I still don't want to believe you're...gone. 

Y/n: I miss you. I keep checking my phone every day thinking you'll text back but every time I have to remind myself that this time, you'll never respond to another text or pick up another phone call. 

Y/n: and it hurts, it hurts so much. I can't even cry, I just feel so empty and numb like you took my feelings with you when you died. 

Y/n: It hurts because somehow, even after everything that happened, losing you was more painful than anything I've ever felt in my life. It was like the phantom pains you once felt with your amputated limbs, like you know your limbs aren't there anymore and yet you still can't help but feel the pain of when you first lost them. That's how I feel, I know you're gone but I can't not feel like I'm the one dying instead of you.

Y/n: I know I promised you I'd try my best to move forward but you already should've known I could never be as strong as you were. 

Y/n: SO WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE

Y/n: I STILL NEED YOU

Y/n: please 

Alone in the quarters of her room, the widow clutched the phone in her trembling hand, tears of grief splashing the screen as y/n sent text after text for the nth time that day. She remembered the first time she'd received the phone call, saying Kenta had been gravely injured, she'd been overseas for work at the time but the minute she'd heard her son was on death's door she would've tried to swim the ocean to get to him if the plane wasn't fast enough.

Not even two years later when he had broken the news to her, she became angry, refusing to believe the world would dare another attempt to take him from her. Kenta, who grew up so strong and healthy and respected, just like his late father. They always had an awkward relationship, she and Kenta, because she was never able to see the horizon he chased with every sliver of willpower he had. 

When she questioned him about choosing to aim for the professional leagues instead of settling down for higher education. Kenta thought she was insane. He was a smart kid, she believed he would've dropped his little hobby after high school and get serious with his life, but if anything, it only fueled him to work harder and turn his "hobby" into a career. 

"This is who I am." He told her. "If I took another job in engineering or science or even business, I would never forgive myself for giving up the one thing that makes me realize that life is a blessing. Say what you want, but I am a volleyball player, and a damn good one too, that's something that'll never change. You see me on the court and you know what people say? Look at him, that's not luck, that's hard work, that's blood, sweat, and tears. That kind of dedication only comes from people who really love what they do."