Chapter 23- Regrets

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Sadness is like a drug...
It takes you away from reality,
And makes you see
In a whole new way....

For this chapter, listen to is it just me by Emily burns.

She kissed the droplets of rain from my lips, and I felt her lips smile against mine. She swept my wet hair aside and kissed me just over the collarbone. She nibbled at my ear and then sank herself into my arms. I hung my arms on her waist, dragging her closer. She buried her head in my shoulder curve, her hands flexing around my back. She gave a smile. "So this was your plan all along, huh?" One of the happiest moments that I actually remember having with Kiana.

"Thanks for taking me out tonight."

"Honestly, all you have to do is just call me." She smiled.

"Yeah I know, I know."

"So why haven't you been calling all these past few weeks?"

I frowned. "I've just been busy."

"Busy? With Yosef?"

"I'm sorry."

"Na, it's ok. I understand."

"But maybe I was just scared."

"Scared of what?"

"My feelings for you."

"All this time?"

"Yeah. And I had to keep my mind off of it. That's why I decided to date Yosef, so...."

"Xhey." She sighed. "You never have to be scared of your feelings for me...you know I love you too."

Just then the tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. I felt the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child. The sobs punched through, ripping through my muscles, bones, and guts. I buried my head in between my legs and began to let my heart yank in and out of my chest. I was hollow. I felt like my life was crumbling. 

I gripped the sides of the tub and let out a silent scream. I messed my life once more. I missed Kiana, and I doubt whether she would ever want to see me after what happened today.

The bracelet. It came to my mind. I wiped the tears off my face and pulled it off my wrist. I folded it on my palm and more tears flooded my eyes. This was the only thing I had left to remind me of Kiana. Why did I do this? Why? She loved me. This pain in my heart was raw, like an open wound.

"Xhey, Open the door." Yosef barked.

I gasped and silenced my cry. Without a second thought, I stepped out of the tab, and tied a robe around my body and stood still, in the bathroom. I just hoped Yosef didn't hear me cry.

"Xhey?" He called out my name once more.

"I'll be out in a minute."

I walked towards the mirror and looked at myself. My eyes were so red and I had a doleful look on my face. Shit. I didn't want Yosef to see me like this because, he would start questioning me. I opened his medicine cabinet and looked for a pain reliever for my headache. I scattered the medicine around the sink and spotted what I wanted. I opened it and before I could take it, I realized I had no fresh water.

I opened the door and Yosef was standing next to it.

"Why were you crying?" Was his first question.

"Nothing serious. My head was hurting, and when it hurts....I cry, haha."

"I know you're lying to me..but it's cool. Let me get you some medicine." He answered with a sad tone.

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