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70 Published 06.14.2020
•••
ROSEANNE
"As long as you know that, I will feel slightly at ease." He continues and a smile betrays my lips.
I don't say anything as my mind drifts to him.
He's always letting me know that he cares about me, but what have I done?
I haven't been the best person to him.
I knew that.
If anything, I have hurt him.
Fiddling with the string of my sweatpants, I grow guilty at my actions.
He deserves better than what I'm giving him.
So much better.
In the midst of the silence, I blink into reality. Tightening the hold on my phone, I call out his name.
"James."
"Yes?" His voice rings through my ears.
Letting out a small breath, I utter quietly. "You can trust me too."
My voice is so low that I can barely hear myself, but I go on. "You don't have to worry about me all the time."
He is always worrying about me and I don't want want it to be about me all the time.
James is important. Way too important to me.
And I should let him know.
"I care about you. And..." I bite my lip as I try to find the right words to say. "I worry about you too. But James, you shouldn't always worry for me."
"You deserve to be cared for." I end with a whisper as I feel a wave of guilt come over me.
"Then you do it for me." I can hear a hint of anger as he speaks but I grow confused at his answer.
"What?"
"You worry for me and let me worry about you as much as I want." He says as if it were the most casual thing ever and I have a sudden desire to smack my forehead.
"Nooo, that's not what you're supposed to say." I tell him. "James, I want you to also care for yourself. Don't focus too much on me-"
"Why?" He cuts me off, anger now evident in his voice.
But why is he getting angry?
I just want to tell him that he shouldn't worry so much about me, and that I care about him.
Looking down at the bruise on my arm, I continue speaking.
"Because you're always worrying about me, and I worry about you. You also have to take care of yourself." James lets out a humorless chuckle and my eyebrows knit together.
"Princess," he clicks his tongue and I focus on his words. "I will always worry about you. Nothing is going to change that. So whatever you're tying to do to stop me from caring for you, I suggest you give up because it's not going to work. Not now, not ever."
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