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"In the world full of lies, my only truth is you, here's a letter from me to you."
—Stay (Blackpink)
//15//
♥~❀❀ ~❁❀❀❁~ ❀❀~♥
Violet Pov
Sometimes, I'm glad to be a human, who has feelings and not cold-blooded animals. Yet, sometimes, I hope I do not feel, in order to not face all the pain in life.
Emotions, a very complicated concept.
Emotion, a strong feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. It's like a love-hate relationship. They can keep us sane but also kill us to some extent.
I swear, he made me feel special. He successfully persuaded me to think that I have a chance with him. Then he destroyed everything, every single feeling I built for him in my heart, leaving scars inside, which was once all his.
How do I feel again?
"Violet..." Jisoo sighed continuously, in an attempt to annoy me and make me pay attention to her.
"What?" I snapped rudely, sitting up straight on the couch, crossing my legs and arms, ready to hear lectures.
"You didn't even give him a chance to explain! You cannot act like a child with only what you witnessed! What if it's not the whole picture? What if you are misunderstanding him? Have you put yourself in his shoes?" Jisoo argued, she didn't agree with what I've done. After Taehyung came into my life, I realized Jisoo and I actually are more different than I thought.
"What's more to see? He said he missed her, he was crying for her, what am I then? I have feelings either." It was like seeing your boyfriend dialing your ex's number when he's drunk. What am I? Am I a replacement for his loneliness, to just let him feel a little better? Am I his doll? I'm not living to let some immortal human play.
"You cannot expect him to let go of Valeria immediately. I don't know what happened to them but I'm sure she meant a lot to him. If you are doing this just to make him feel even worse, then you are being selfish, Violet." Jisoo shook her head in disappointment.
"I-i... that's not my intention!" I fired back. It wasn't my intention to hurt him, I let my feelings got the best of me, maybe I act on impulse... did I hurt his feelings? Valeria... I don't know if I should see her as myself... what exactly happened back then?
"Then apologize to him. Talk and sort things out. You can't just stomp away leaving him hurt and confused. You love him, right?" Jisoo questioned, and that hit me. Do I?
"I... I'm growing feelings for him but... I don't know if I love him or not. Love is a strong word."
"Wait, shoot... they are heading to their New Europe Tour tonight, probably won't come back any sooner." Jisoo sighed in frustration.
"When will they be back?" I asked worriedly, after hearing Jisoo's opinions on the situation, I was starting to feel guilty for shouting at him. What if he carries negativity throughout the whole tour, will it affect his performances?
"A month later..."
"Are you going to talk to him once he's back?" Jisoo added, curious to know my answer.
"I don't know."
"Get your shits together girl! Do you like him or not? You have to figure out your feelings and not leave them just like that! Just admit it if you do."
I kicked my legs, messing my hair as I leaned back to the couch.
"I don't know anymore."
Taehyung Pov
"I don't know anymore."
I exhaled deeply and buried my face into my palms. We have just arrived in Berlin for our first Europe concert the day after tomorrow. I again came into Jimin's hotel room to seek for advice, usually about relationships concerns.
"Do you see her as Valeria? If I were Violet, I'd feel hurt. You are treating me as someone else as if I'm a clone for you to play with." Jimin crossed his legs while I lay flat on his bed. "Ouch!" I whined when Jimin spanked my butt. "Answer me, you punk. I can't let you play with a woman's feelings."
"I did see her as Valeria at first. She's Valeria in some ways but at the same time, she's not. I approached her because I want Valeria in my life again but later I realized it's not possible. They might look the same but Violet is different from her in detail. The weirdest thing is when she doesn't even have the memories I shared with Valeria. At some point, I was going to give up but... I think? I'm starting to fall for Violet."
"Really!? Then that's all you need to know! Go get her! Sorry for being direct but... Valeria is gone, for many many years and will never be back alive... you can't live in your shadow forever Tae..." Jimin eyed me cautiously, feeling like his words were a little too harsh.
I gulped thickly, I cannot lie, he was right. Valeria is my past...
"You're right, Chim." I smiled weakly, getting up from his bed.
"It's late, we have early schedules tomorrow, you should rest," I reminded and wore my slippers heading out of his room.
"Tae..." Jimin's eyes softened.
I showed him a reassuring smile, "don't worry, I'll sort things out. I won't miss an amazing woman again."
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Sorry for a boring chapter🤭 Might update the next chapter later today:)
