The walk to the bench felt like the slow parade to the witness stand. Ha Yun was still contemplating on how to begin her explanation to Namjoon when we arrived at the bench. As she sat down, she panicked slightly. She took a few long breaths to compose herself before finding the courage to look at him.
He was patiently waiting for her to start. Maybe he could sense that whatever she had to say was hard. Should she lie her way out? No, it won't be fair for him. Okay, it was now or never.
"You see, Namjoon-shhi. I am incredibly sensitive towards certain things. Normal things like other people's emotion, presence, mood can overpower me and affect me physically such as rising heart rate, ringing in my ears, goosebumps on my skin until I shiver. In some extreme cases when the sensation is too much I can get a panic attack and can't breathe." She tried to explain her condition to him while observing his reaction. He seemed to ponder about it for a moment.
"So, what you are saying is that your reaction towards me is due to your condition?"
"Yes. It is not voluntary on my side. I can't help it."
"Then, if this is true, why do you have this reaction only around me?" His brilliant mind was trying to do detective work.
She couldn't. She couldn't tell him that her body was physically attracted to him, although she was not interested in him. She would rather cross the blazing ocean than to admit that.
"I am not too sure myself. Usually I have this disorder around crowded places which I can't escape from. Maybe I am intimidated by you?"
"I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
"It will be okay with time, I hope." She smiled to reassure him.
"Have you always had this condition?" He looked concerned and she liked him being concerned about her. She smiled as a response.
"Yes. I was born with the 6th sense you can call it. It's just that because of the recent incident it kept getting worse." She was worried too at the seriousness of her condition. It was easier for her to get a panic attack these days.
"What incident?"
As she replayed Soo-Jin's incident, she was silent. She clenched her fists for the strength to open up.
"If you are uncomfortable, it's okay. You don't have to tell me."
She took a deep breath before speaking, "My student's suicide at Mapo bridge. I couldn't catch her in time." She choked and felt her eyes hot with gathering tears. "She died because I couldn't save her." Hot tears slid down her cheeks.
"Hey , hey. Gwaenchanayo." He moved closer to her but she scooted away. "It was not your fault. You must have tried your best to save her." He just put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.
She shook her head in denial, "Not my best yet. I should have talked more to her. I should have told her she was loved more. I should have followed her home that night. I should have run faster. I should have done better." She sobbed and continued.
"She was so innocent. The only thing she did wrong is loving someone too much she lost herself."
"It must have been hard on you this whole time." He said while rubbing her shoulder gently. His touch was warm and sent these comfortable fuzzy feelings all over her body. His low calm voice brushed softly on her ears.
"Do you know what is most frustrating about it?" She searched into his clear eyes for understanding.
"What?"
"I can see her having a successful life years ahead. I know she can make it, but she herself cannot see it. She refused to believe me." She said while wiping away the running tears.
"And that is why I accepted this position. I want to spread the message of self love to counter suicide as a teacher but my voice can only reach up to 30 students. There are a lot of other young people living a shell-like life chasing over mirage."
"That is good. I can help you. We can spread the message together." She looked at his honest eyes and believed he meant it. She smiled happily comforted by another comrade on this long, tough and lonely road.
"Thank you. This means a lot to me." She thought to herself that maybe it was a good idea to stay put in this position for a while.
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Author's note:
***Poor Ha Yun. Cry...cry...but she got comforted by Namjoon. Kyaa! Who doesn't want that😆.
***Please like, comment and vote if you like my story. Thanks :-)
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THE SEER OF SOULS // KIM NAMJOON
Fanfiction"Who am I? My shadow is getting bigger on this path of stardom. One day it will catch me and make me fear the spotlights. I fear one day I will crash and burn to ashes. I am tired but I cannot stop. Where on this path can I finally rest?" - Kim Na...
