"Who am I?
My shadow is getting bigger on this path of stardom. One day it will catch me and make me fear the spotlights. I fear one day I will crash and burn to ashes. I am tired but I cannot stop. Where on this path can I finally rest?"
- Kim Na...
ओह! यह छवि हमारे सामग्री दिशानिर्देशों का पालन नहीं करती है। प्रकाशन जारी रखने के लिए, कृपया इसे हटा दें या कोई भिन्न छवि अपलोड करें।
It was the day of the departure for the North America tour. The tour coincided with Ha Yun's holiday plan to the US, so she welcomed the opportunity. She arrived earlier with the other staff to make preparation for the BTS members departure.
She had been informed of the imminent chaos at the airport as fans were already staking out at the airport hours before departure to be in a good spot to see their idols.
She smiled as she could understand the fans' desire and longing to see and bid farewell to their idols but she couldn't help but wonder whether they had put their own dreams and lives on hold for a brief view of their idols.
"Ha Yun Noona, we are going through the normal departure route. The members will take the VIP route but we will regroup at the waiting lounge." said Mi Suk, the junior stylist she had befriended. She smiled with a nod and they walked towards the departure route.
From afar she could hear the loud buzz of chatter from the growing excited crowds. She froze instantly as she got nearer and her heart rate increased. The sound of her own heart rang loudly in her ears over the noisy crowd. The weight of emotion and energy emitted by the waiting crowd felt like a wall of impenetrable air pressure. Their scent mingled together in a mixture of nervous sweat, overbearing perfume and a stench of greed.
Mi Suk had to urge her to keep walking and Ha Yun used the luggage handle as a cane to support her staggering steps. She could feel her own body turn colder and her sweaty hands clutched the luggage handle harder. The pressure was overwhelming her senses as she tried to trudge through this dense swamp of energy vibes.
As their small group of staff walked through the lines of fans, she could feel the curious and judging eyes skinning them alive. Her vision started to blur and she had to focus her eyes beyond the crowd as she fought the wave of dizziness. She was not a celebrity but she was suddenly, extremely conscious of how she looked in front of these strangers.
She shook her head because she certainly didn't feel welcomed or comforted by the crowd full of fans pledging their love for the members. She felt more like a cheap item displayed at the auction market at the mercy of the rabid buyers. The warm fuzzy feeling of love and admiration were overshadowed by the avalanche of desire and greed.
The hair at the back of her neck bristled in eerie as she sensed a few presence of hatred, anger and jealousy among the crowd. These malicious vibes felt like clawed hands draining out the sense of peace inside of her. She quickened her pace to get out of range of this black hole of emptiness before it sucked the life force out of her.
As she reached the departure gate and passed the custom inspection, she staggered and leaned against the wall for support. She had to catch up her breath. It was like she just made through an intense race.
"Gwaenchanayo? You looked pale." asked Mi Suk.
She took a few deep breaths before answering her, "Gwaenchanayo." She looked back towards the sea of crowd and shivered in disbelief and horror. "Is it always like this whenever the members travel?"
