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"To all my niggas dead and gone imma tell you I loveee you" my voice cracked.
I felt myself about to cry which made me instantly get up and grab the pill bottle that was in a sock behind my bed.
My grandma had foot surgery last year and they gave her percs for her pain but she never used them.
After a while she forgot about them altogether so I just took them and put them to use. She always ask me to get her medicine from the pharmacy anyway.
I give her everything except her percs and she never notices.
I was always seen as a goofy or funny person but behind closed doors I was a very sad person.
I got so much anger, trauma and sadness built up in me that shit all come crashing down at weird times.
Trell see's a therapist but I think that shit for white people plus he ain't go through or see half the shit I did.
I grabbed two pills and took them dry.
I just wanted to numb the pain I was feeling.
My friend devin death date was today me and him was like brothers we met in kindergarten and was inseparable after.
His death hit me hard because it was my fault.
Some niggas wanted to get back at me for killing their homie.
I didn't mean to kill that nigga we was fighting and he pulled a gun out.
I had no choice but to shoot before he shot me.
Two weeks after that somebody sent me a video of devin taking 3 shots to the dome.
Till this day nobody know about the video but me and the niggas who sent it.
That shit traumatizing. Watching somebody you love die in the worst way possible and you can't do shit about it.
What made the whole situation worst was the fact that I had to watch it on a video.
Out of all ways to see my bro die it was on a fucking video.
"RON GO GET LONDON." My grandmother yelled from downstairs.
