𝐴𝑁𝐼𝑀𝑂𝑆𝐼𝑇𝑌

29

Excuse any mistakes

Janae Reese
Saint Louis, Westside|9:45 pm

"Bitch I got ADHD!" Teezy yelled at his phone I'm guessing on the phone with a girl. "If you not tryna fuck on the ceiling THEN ION WANT YOU!"

I bussed out laughing walking through the door.

Shit I gotta hear when I get off work.

"Orrr maybe she a normal person and— okay Teezy." KJ said changing the channel as Twan was just slumped in the recliner staring at the TV.

Miss Mia don't ya buddy.

I was walking to Santana's room then stopped to see him looking at a book. My book.

Grabbing it from him I asked. "What are you doing?"

"Looking at that book of yours." He smiled at me innocently.

"No shit. But why tho, some shit is pri—"

"Chill out I was moving yo bag then that fell out I was only looking at the cover ma'am." He said as I sighed in relief.

You know better— lmao shut up Nae.

"Why you get so hype bout that book?" He asked pulling me into his lap.

I sighed kicking my shoes off. "That book is like a diary well kinda."

"Elaborate."

"Like I wouldn't necessarily write what I'm going through at the moment but I'd write something that symbolizes the situation." He nodded pulling me closer.

"Lemme read a page." He said.

"Tana ion know if you wan—"

"I do Nae." He said kissing my cheek. I sighed going to a random page and handed the book to him.

Page 57

I'm like a tree set in flames the falling branches symbolized as my now non existent emotions.

The lack of love from the people for whom I have no choice but to be around adds fuel to those flames.

I know the tree will soon fall and be taken away by another group of empty souls, I just wish something I can call my peace will put these growing flames to a halt.

"Damn." He said closing the book. "That's deep as fuck."

I nodded. "Yea." I stood up going in the bathroom to change my clothes.

"And this what be going through yo head on a daily?" He asked as I walked out the bathroom.

"Pretty much. But you the only person who knows that." I said hopping in his bed.

"I'm yo best friend of course I am." He said cockily.

...

"Yep felt like a burden in my own home, was often neglected so I had to do everything on my own, everything a fucking child shouldn't even have to think about doing. 7 years old doing grown people shit. Then my bald head ass sister didn't help." I said laying on his chest. "That's why my anger was so bad and I'd take it out on people ian even know even the ones I did."

"My ain't shit ass parents thought treatments would help but it didn't cause the bitch would fuck wimme everyday so then I realized I had to heal myself. Which is why I started putting my emotions on paper." I continue as he listened to every word.

"Thought of suicide countless times cause I thought if I was gone it wouldn't make a damn difference then I came into realization that I can't leave that easily. I needa show them later in down the line what I know imma make happen in life and have them begging for handouts. Which they doing now." I said.

"So fucked up, don't ever think suicide is the option." He said looking me in the eyes. "Make me wanna shoot em in the fucking thro—" He was saying till he stopped his self. "Nun. So wassup wit—"

"I'm sick of talm bout it let's talk about you." I said.

He shrugged. "Ain't shit much about me. My whole family fucked up which is why all of em dead to me except my two siblings and momma. Then the streets treat you no better."  He said as I was tracing his tattoos.

"I done came into eye contact with death so many times it still amazes me on how I made it past 21 cause you know niggas in Saint Louis don't even make it that far so it's a blessing. But then the shit I gotta deal with while I'm still here is a curse."

"Been through so much shit out here and people ask why I act the way I do. If they knew a small amount of what I been through they'll get they answer." He continued.

"Well now that I'm here you don't even gotta thing like that. Now that I'm here you know I gotchu." I said kissing his lips as he gripped my ass.

"I know you got me fasho and it's vise versa. But then again the streets was where I knew I could make the money fast to get me and my loved ones up. All money ain't good money." He said.

It then fell upon a comfortable silence but I know both of our thoughts were loud as shit.

"So what dream have you always had?" I said breaking the silence.

"To make it out. To have a wife—"

"Okay you got that now what's next." I smiled making him chuckle.

"I want kids most def. Then I wanna move out this city to Atlanta or sum shit." He said.

"How many kids?"

"A football team so miss ma'am imma need you to handle that." He said sending a hard slap to my ass making me slap his chest.

"Three kids max nigga." I said.

"Ain't nun to trap you."

"Ain't nun to pop a plan b." I smiled.

"Girl shut up." He laughed. "What yo dream is cause I know damn sure you got one."

"Well since you askeddd... I wanna be a fashion designer." I said.

It really was always a dream of mine cause even as a kid I used to love fashion and clothes even tho I couldn't buy them. Well still do. But I would see them in the windows of stores and fantasize about putting em together.

He looked down at me making me look up at him. "You forreal?"

I nodded. "Yep."

"That's tuff as fuck bae. You gon make it happen. Now that you told me this shit you not settling for less." He said making me smile.

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250 votes.

i comes thruuuu w the deep ass conversations boay😛. but yk i had to get out what they wanted i life cause yea don't question it.

ik y'all ready for a la sexccc .. and within these couple chapters IMMA MAKE IT HAPPEENNN.