Hurricane ~ L. Valdez

1.17 - I'm Going To Murder Them

      I definitely didn't like our current situation. The creepy princess was giving me bad vibes and Leo and Jason seemed to be out of it. That was never good.

      The princess gestured toward the cosmetics counter. "Shall we start with the potions?"

      "Cool," Jason said. Idiot. Absolute idiot.

      "Guys," Piper interrupted, "we're here to get the storm spirits and Coach Hedge."

      "Piper's right, guys. If this—princess—" I spat the word out, "is really our friend—"

      "Oh, I'm better than a friend, my dear," Her Royal Highness said. "I'm a saleswoman." Oh dear God, even worse. Her eyes were cold and dark. I didn't trust her. "Don't worry. We'll work our way down to the first floor, eh?"

      Leo nodded eagerly. "Sure, yeah! That sounds okay. Right, Lara?" He looked at me with the eagerness of a puppy. Look, I get ADHD... this isn't just ADHD. I wanted to knock the sense back into him.

      "Of course it's okay." I said with a fake smile. It's not okay. Princess put her hands on Leo's and Jason's shoulders and steered them toward the cosmetics.

      "Come along, boys."

      Piper and I turned and looked at each other. We didn't exactly have much choice except to follow. "I'm going to kill the two of them later."

      "And here," the princess said, "is the finest assortment of magical mixtures anywhere." The counter was crammed with bubbling beakers and smoking vials on tripods. Crystal flasks lined the display shelf—some of them shaped like random animals. The liquids inside were every color in the rainbow, and the different mixes of smells was almost as smelly as my ex-stepdad.

      The princess pointed to a bloodred vial. "This one will heal any disease."

      "Even cancer?" Leo asked excitedly. "Leprosy? Hangnails?"

      "Any disease, sweet boy. And this vial"—she pointed to a swan-shaped container with blue liquid inside—"will kill you very painfully."

      "Awesome," Jason said in a dazed and sleepy voice. If he doesn't snap out of it, he'll see how it feels to die very painfully.

      "Jason," Piper said. "We've got a job to do. Remember?" I could tell she was trying to charmspeak him, but her voice was far shakier than usual.

      "Job to do," Jason muttered. "Sure. But shopping first, okay?" The princess beamed at him. I wish I could punch her.

      "Then we have potions for resisting fire—"

      "Got that covered," Leo said. Even in a trance he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

      "Indeed?" The princess asked, studying Leo's face more closely. "You don't appear to be wearing my trademark sunscreen...but no matter. We also have potions that cause blindness, insanity, sleep, or—"

      "Wait." I turned to see Piper staring at the red vial. "Could that potion cure lost memory?"

      The princess narrowed her eyes. "Possibly. Yes. Quite possibly. Why, my dear? Have you forgotten something important?" Jason. She was doing it for Jason.

      "How much?" Piper asked.

      "Well, now...The price is always tricky. I love helping people. Honestly, I do. And I always keep my bargains, but sometimes people try to cheat me." Her gaze drifted to Jason. "Once, for instance, I met a handsome young man who wanted a treasure from my father's kingdom. We made a bargain, and I promised to help him steal it."

      "From your own dad?" Jason still looked dazed and confused, but the idea seemed to bother him.

      "Oh, don't worry," the princess said. "I demanded a high price. The young man had to take me away with him. He was quite good-looking, dashing, strong..." She turned to look at me and Piper. "I'm sure, my dear, you understand how one might be attracted to such a hero, and want to help him."

      Piper and I both obviously were trying to control our emotions, but she almost definitely blushed.

      "At any rate," Her Highness continued, "my hero had to do many impossible tasks, and I'm not bragging when I say he couldn't have done them without me. I betrayed my own family to win the hero his prize. And still he cheated me of my payment."

       "Cheated?" Jason frowned, as if trying to remember something important.

      "That's messed up," Leo added. Princess patted his cheek affectionately. I gritted my teeth.

      "I'm sure you don't need to worry, Leo. You seem honest. You would always pay a fair price, wouldn't you?"

      Leo nodded. "What were we buying again? I'll take two."

      Piper broke in again. "So, the vial, Your Highness—how much?"

      The princess seemed to look Piper up and down, as if assessing her price. "Would you give anything for it, my dear?" the princess asked. "I sense that you would." Okay, I'm not one to point fingers, but that's lowkey pedophile like. The words seemed to wash over Piper, but then she looked like she pushed it off.

      "No, I won't pay any price. But a fair price, maybe. After that, we need to leave. Right, guys?" Just for a few seconds it seemed to work. But the boys simply looked confused.

      "Leave?" Jason said.

      "You mean...after shopping?" Leo asked. I'm going to murder them.

      "Impressive," the princess said. "Not many people could resist my suggestions. Are you a child of Aphrodite, my dear? Ah, yes—I should have seen it. No matter. Perhaps we should shop a while longer before you decide what to buy, eh?"

      "But the vial—"

      "Now, boys." She turned to Jason and Leo, her voice filled with authority. "Would you like to see more?"

      "Sure," Jason said.

      I turned to Leo. "I swear to all the gods that if you say yes I'm going to murder you." Leo's gaze softened, and for a moment... just a single moment, I thought that maybe it could possibly work.

      "Okay," Leo said, getting lost in the daze again. I fumed.

      "Excellent," the princess said. "You'll need all the help you can get if you're to make it to the Bay Area."

      "The Bay Area?" Piper asked. "Why the Bay Area?"

      The princess smiled. "Well, that's where they'll die, isn't it?" Then she led us toward the escalators, Jason and Leo still looking excited to shop.