The Surrogate || kth au || EDITING

31

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part of
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Soobin had finally fallen asleep. All the crying he did at the doctor's office definitely tired him out. Today was overall a depressing day. It felt like it was depressing day after depressing day for me.

Mourning Jungkook, being homeless, being pregnant with a strangers baby, being literally on the run, getting my heart broken, and now I'm basically being bullied at work. When would heaven give me a break?

After putting Soobin down I had free time, something that was very rare for me. I was confused at to what to do with it at this point. I didn't know whether to start a new show, stuff my face, nap or do all three. I could feel myself slipping back farther into that depressive rut I was in.

I felt stuck.

I didn't want this to be my life. Stuck in this apartment. Stuck in this situation. My only purpose was to mother Soobin. I didn't have anything else to look forward to. And I felt guilty for feeling that way but don't I deserve more? I felt guilty because being a mom should be enough motivation to live but for me it wasn't. I needed something more.

Why do I have to slave for eight hours a day in some corporate room just to get shat on and come home to a crying baby?

Why do I have to keep my child a secret from everyone just to make his dad happy?

I felt like I had no control over my life. I felt like nothing in my life was my choice.

All the people I chose to love, I chose to value, I chose to care about just left me. Jungkook left, Yoojin left, Yoongi left.

That's why I felt stuck, because the only person I had to depend on had so much hanging over my head. I hated the idea of being at Taehyung's mercy. He thinks it makes us closer but it doesn't. It was claustrophobic.

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I got into the elegant penthouse elevator. It was a routine visit just to come and see Soobin. I also planned on questioning Y/n about her interaction with Jennie. I wanted to know how well they knew each other.

I knocked on the door and after waiting a few moments I unlocked it myself. Y/n was fast asleep on the couch.

"Y/n." I said, nudging her awake. She jolted from her sleep in confusion. When she saw me she slowly closed her eyes back.

"Hey." She let out. "Soobin is asleep. He got his shots today so he might be tired." She said drowsily.

"He got his shots? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think you would care." She said, now opening her eyes back up. "I assumed you'd have something to do, that's all."

"Well don't assume anymore, I wanna know everything that concerns him." I scolded her. She rolled her eyes and proceeded to cozy up further into the couch.

"You don't even have a blanket, you must've been tired."

"Yeah, I'd be less tired too if you'd let me nap. I finally have time to sleep and you're here interrupting."