𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙘𝙚 | anna & ag fanfic.

₂₀

warning, this chapter get intense. i mean really intense. 

the next dayy*

anna's point of view.

my mind is racing with scenarios. 

did she already know this girl? were they talking while we were dating? 

i just can't anymore. my mind is fried. my heart is aching. 

ryan had left an hour ago and i was alone. alone where my thoughts can consume my brain. the most dangerous place i could be right now was in my mind. it's the place that deceives me the most. the place that kept me up all night thinking about everything. 

i got up from the floor i had been sitting on all night now. i walked out of the room and went into ryan's. i looked into her nightstand and found the only thing that'll cure my thoughts. it was heavier than i imagined. 

everyone is my life lets me down. i haven't even felt happy in the past couple of months because depression and anxiety keep getting worse.i can't even remember the last time i smiled. people always say things can get better but in my situation it never did. it never will. the only thing i could do now is take shit into my own hands. i dont want to feel anymore if this is what leads to it.  i just want a way out. i need a way out. any way out. 

it's the only way out. the thing that snatched my life away emotionally was in my hands now. i pull the gun that took my whole life away, to my face. happiness sounds better now that my finger is on the trigger, seconds away from my freedom. 

oh, that sounds so nice. 

dear  anna grace, 

i know ill never be like anyone you've ever liked before and that's fine. i've learned to accept that now. you were one of the best things that have happened to me in the past year. ive grown to know you as an individual and im so proud of the person you were.

the person i grew to love in a short amount of time. you always knew how to make me laugh when i was sad. you really felt like a fresh breath of air out of the toxic polluted air that everyone else has to get. but as good things come, they end as well. 

i wish i never met you. 

if i never met you then none of this would hurt so bad. letting you go would've felt easier. it all hurts ag. i know you don't care about me and probably won't even read this. i just want you to know, i hate you so much. 

i hate that i care about you and you couldn't see it.

i hate that all i do is think about you all day and night, but you're kissing other people.  i seen her ag. she's pretty. i bet she'll male you happier than me. 

i hope you're happy. by the time you get this letter, i will finally be happy. 

im sorry.

- anna.

a/n :  this chapter contained a very serious topic. i know it's hard sometimes and you feel like no one is here but i am. never, i mean ever, feel like no cares because people do! think about all the things you'll miss and never get to experience.   if you are dealing with any of this, my heart goes out to you & if you need someone to talk to, i'll always be here :). stay strong love, you got this. i care about you.

- aaronisha :)