36. Can I Be Him?

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Phana's POV

I came around the corner from the Science Faculty canteen and saw Beam sitting with my Yo. He had his arm around Beam, and Beam was leaning into his side. This is what happens when your boyfriend is too sexy. Even your best friend wants to have him. I can't leave him alone for a minute!

"Keep your hands to yourself," I said, rushing up to them and pushing Beam off my boyfriend. "He's mine."

"Geez," Beam said, quickly wiping his eyes. Had he been crying? "I'm not trying to steal him. Jealous bastard."

"If you had a boyfriend like him, you'd be jealous too," I said, pulling Yo tighter in my arms. Yo turned his face up to me and smiled, making my knees weak. How did he always manage to look so adorable?

"You're right, I would," Beam said, looking at my baby with a big smile. Really? Treacherous best friend. I'm taking Yo somewhere far away and locking him up, so no one else can see him. Mine! Beam stood up to go, "I've got to go talk to Forth. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye Beam," Yo said, smiling at my friend. You don't need to smile at other people, Yo. You only need to smile at me.

"Thanks for everything, Yo," Beam said before he walked away. "You're the best."

Yo's face turned that adorable pink color that made me want to find a dark corner and do very pleasant things to him. He was still watching Beam walk away, and I really needed his attention on me.

"Do you want to go to a movie tonight?" I asked, putting my finger under his chin and turning his face back to me.

"Don't you have classes tomorrow morning?" Yo asked. "Why don't we watch something in my room? That way we won't be out too late."

The day passed too slowly after that. I had to attend classes and eat meals and walk around with other people. What a waste of time. When I finally walked into his room that evening to watch a movie, it was like taking a breath of fresh air.

Yo sat quietly on the couch, his eyes turned to the screen in front of us. It's already been 45 minutes and I don't remember anything about this movie. I couldn't focus on anything else, my whole body was focused on him. My hands, my mouth, even my legs began to throb to the rhythm of my too fast heartbeat. The scent that was distinctly his surrounded me. I wanted to taste him, to touch him, to make him mine.

"Are you okay?" Yo asked, pulling me from my thoughts. He was looking at me strangely and I swallowed hard while I tried to concentrate.

"Yes," I said. I knew my voice was husky with desire, and I was slightly embarrassed by my inability to control my thoughts. I'd been with a lot of girls before but I had never felt this nervous. I took his hands in mine, wondering if he would let me kiss him. I knew I didn't deserve him, just seeing his sweet smile and chocolate eyes should be enough, but I wanted him so much.

Just as I turned my head back to the movie, Yo's hand held my cheek, turning me to face him. He moved his arm around my neck, pulling himself closer to me and placed his perfect lips on mine. For half a second, I was lost in absolute wonder, but when his other hand ran up my chest exploring my body, I couldn't hold back anymore.

I pushed him back on the couch, covering him with my body while using my arms to keep the majority of my weight off him. His legs were open and I laid myself between them, trying very hard not to grind my growing erection against him, knowing he wanted to take things slow. He ran both of his hands up along my neck and into my hair, pulling just a little bit. It was exactly the way I liked to be touched, and I moaned in pleasure.

Yo's lips on mine were soft yet demanding and I pushed my body against his as closely as I could. I had the strangest thought that I would never be able to get close enough. That even if I were inside him right this moment, I would still want to pull him closer. The gentle tugs on my hair were driving me crazy and I growled out my need for him.

Yo's response was to deepen our kiss, licking my lips and stroking my tongue with his own. His kiss was like fire and my body was in flames.

I was hoping he'd allow me to go further, but a few seconds later Yo pulled his mouth away from mine and gently pushed on my shoulders. I took the hint and got off him, allowing him to sit up. He licked his lips once, making me hungry for more, but then he looked at me and said, "It's getting late. Why don't we finish this movie another time?"

With Yo's hands in mine I berated myself. Had I pushed too hard? Had I just messed this up? I knew he wasn't ready yet, I shouldn't have let this happen! I needed to give him more time to trust me. I'm such an idiot.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Yo said, stopping my thoughts with his words. "I just think we were getting carried away."

"Okay," I said, feeling relieved that I hadn't scared him off. "I'm sorry."

"Please don't be sorry," he said, walking me to the door. "If you feel guilty, you might not do it again."

Yo winked at me and closed the door, leaving me in the hallway. Walking across the hall to my own room, I realized that Yo meant he would let me touch him again. Maybe Yo wanted me as much as I wanted him? Yes!

I'd had sex many times, but his kiss was better than anything I'd ever experienced. Every time I was completely lost to desire, something that had never happened with anyone else. The worst part was that I knew I'd never done anything to deserve his love. In fact, I wasn't sure why he would want to be with me. What if he left me? Nothing in my past had prepared me to feel this vulnerable.

I showered and took care of the issue that had arisen while kissing Yo, then I laid on my bed to think. Since we'd gotten back together, I'd tried to be extra careful to be thoughtful of Yo's needs. It was hard not to be crazy jealous, but I tried to be better for him. It still made me nervous, the way other people looked at him like he was dessert, but I tried to trust him to be only mine.

I'd messed this relationship up once, and I couldn't do it again. Ming's words to me, when he told me I was arrogant and thoughtless had been running through my mind since Yo took me back. Yo was perfect, he was kind, he was thoughtful, he was gentle when he needed to be, but he didn't let people walk all over him. He was smart and so sexy. He was my everything. In the weeks since we'd met, I'd rebuilt my world around him. I had to be the kind of man he deserved, someone worthy of his love.

I was just about to sleep when my phone rang. I answered the unfamiliar number, wondering who could be calling me so late, and was met with the voice of a girl that I recognized, but didn't know well.

"Pha, my party is coming up this weekend," Pring said with her sweetest voice. "You're still planning to come, aren't you?"

Party? I looked on my calendar and don't see anything about it. I tried to think back, when did I last see Pring? I can't even remember the last time we talked. Trying not to be rude, I asked her to remind me about the details and wrote everything down in my phone when she answered. It's her birthday, she's having a party on Saturday at 7 PM in her parent's backyard. She'll text me the address. I'm welcome to bring my friends. Adding her name and number to my contacts list after we hung up, I put my phone down and drift off to sleep.

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