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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN XVII. LONG-AWAITED CONVERSATIONS
JULIET WAS NEVER REALLY GOOD AT CONFRONTING PEOPLE WHEN THERE WAS A PROBLEM. She basically hated confrontations all together, whether it involved her or whether she was just witnessing them. Juliet always avoided one when she could, she never had arguments at school with people or anyone that was rude to her. She just didn't like it. Juliet would take her problems to the grave if she could.
So the thought of having to go into the spare room in the Chateau to talk to JJ made her feel physically sick. She had to start the conversation this time and she really didn't know if she could. Juliet thought that maybe she would be mad enough for it to not worry her or that she'd have enough to say but she was still panicking over the though of having to tell JJ how she felt.
When Juliet worked up enough courage, she left John B's room and crossed the hallway to the spare room that was now practically JJ's room. She knocked on the door a couple of times before she slowly pushed it open.
JJ had been sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees as he sat forward holding his hat in his hands. He didn't know what to do with himself. He was so worried about John B, even though the paramedics said he'd be okay and it was probably just a few broken bones, and the fact that Juliet was just meters away and he couldn't do anything. JJ couldn't keep pushing her no matter how much he wanted to talk with her and know how she felt. He just needed to know if she needed him as much as he needed her. And at the moment, he didn't think she needed him at all.
So when Juliet opened his door at 1am with a anxious expression across her face, he was beyond shocked. "Juliet......" All JJ could do was mumble out her name as he watched her walk in. He nearly stood up but decided against it, she had a look on her face that JJ had seen many times before. JJ knew Juliet hated confrontations and heated conversations with people and that it made her anxious and that was exactly what was about to happen. JJ thought that if he stayed seated then maybe it would make her feel better. So it wasn't like he was towering over her.
Juliet took a deep breath in before she started talking, her eyes casted down to the floor. "Okay, I'm gonna talk and you're just gonna listen, alright? Just let me talk for a minute." Her eyes only darted up to meet his eyes once she finished. She was fiddling with her fingers that were connected in front of her as she waited for JJ to respond so she could continue.
"O-Okay." JJ stuttered out as he nodded. He was nervous for what Juliet was about to say.
The blonde girl took in another deep breath before she started, her eyes moving back down to her hands. She couldn't look him in the eyes while she spoke. Not yet at least. "After my father died, I was absolutely petrified of loosing someone else. I was so scared that my mom would get ill and she'd die too or that my brother would end up getting too caught up with selling drugs and get himself killed." JJ was fully aware of everything that went on with Juliet's brother, he was one of the only few people she ever trusted to tell. "Even when Paul came into our lives, I was so scared that he'd hate me for not embracing his lifestyle or that everyone else would and I wouldn't so they'd hate me for it. That my sister would grow up despising me because I didn't want to be a Kook. I was so fucking scared. And then I got scared about loosing you guys, that you would kick me out the group because I was living in Figure Eight and things were different. That you'd want to stop being my friend. That was all I'd think about all the time, I was scared, JJ. All the time."
