After the rebellion | Part 1

Chapter 19

-Peeta

She said yes! Katniss Everdeen said yes to marry me. Finally I get the girl i want from since when I was 5. I want this to be perfect and I want to love her for the rest of my life.

I get up from Katniss' bed. We stayed here last night because I was too drunk to get myself home so she offered for me to stay here. I run down the stairs. I pull my trousers up and pull my shirt over my head, slip my feet into my shoes and run out of her house. I run straight to my house, and slam the door shut.

Its taking over my head, it's taking over my brain. Please stop.

'Peeta she's a mutt'

"No she's my fiancée," I scream at myself.

'She killed your family'

"I love her."

'She doesn't love you Peeta'

"She loves me."

'You have to kill her'

"No."

'Mutt, she's a mutt'

Suddenly the hijacked Peeta takes over and I find the nearest chair and clench my hands on it. I think I'm screaming and shouting but I don't know... My mind is somewhere else.

I hear the door open but this is getting stronger. I clench the back of the chair a lot harder and try to get the thoughts of Katniss out of my mind. That's when I feel her arms snake around my waist and she holds me from behind whispering, "Peeta it's not real, I'm Katniss, your fiancé, you love me and I love you, please stay with me."

I scrunch my eyes shut and try to block everything out. My lips start to form a word that my body is stopping me from choking out. I start to sob violently and I fall to the floor with my face in my hands. "I didn't hurt you did I Katniss? Please tell me I didn't, Katniss I'm so sorry," I say.

 "Peeta stop it, look at me. I'm fine. You didn't hurt me, you didn't hurt me baby." Her voice is so calm and comforting.

I lift my eyes to look into her beautiful grey eyes. Her hand moves up to my cheek and she starts to run over the area of my cheek bone. "You're okay baby," she says. She leans forward connecting her soft lips against mine; I can feel the comfort in this kiss. How does she do that? Her lips feel so nice pressed against mine.

She pulls back disconnecting our lips and rests her forehead on mine and just looks deeply into my eyes. "I woke up and you wasn't there, I got worried, Peeta," she says. Her voice is so genuine and calming.

 "I'm sorry Katniss, I just had to go. I couldn't stay there and hurt you, I needed to get away before I had done something I would regret and never forgive myself for," I say looking into her beautiful eyes.

She connects her lips with mine once again, but this time they're there for longer and they're much more inviting. She runs her tongue across the top of my bottom lips. This drives me absolutely crazy. I pull her onto my laps so her legs have straddled my lap. We continue to kiss until we need to breathe. She pulls away and pulls her robe across her body as she only has her underwear on. "You love me real, or not real?" I say. She looks at me with a smug look on her face, her lips part and then she says, "Real Peeta, one hundred percent real, I love you." This makes me smile and I kiss her on the forehead before we both stand up and walk to the couch.

~~

Katniss went home 2 hours ago. We spent the whole day on the couch together just enjoying each other's company and she was telling me how much she loved the ring and how she cannot wait until the day we get married. I can't wait until the day me and Katniss Everdeen will get married either. She's going to look so beautiful words won't be able to explain how I feel.

I made a promise to myself when I was on my way home from the Capitol, after I passed all the tests and was safe enough to leave and be by myself. That promise was that if I ever married Katniss, the day before I would go to her father and prim's grave and talk to them about it and tell them that she will be safe with me and I will always protect her, because that's what me and her do, Protect each other.

I made another promise to myself also, this was that if I married Katniss, the day after I would go to my father and brothers grave and talk to them about Katniss, just like I always used to do after every day of school. But this time would be different; they would actually listen to me and be happy for me for actually achieving my life goal, to marry that girl.

~~

I'm still sat on the couch; I've got a note pad on my lap and a pen resting in-between my fingers twirling it around. I start to write something down for Katniss. It's super cliché but she's never going to read it, it's for my eyes only so she's never going to know I've wrote it.

I write down in the note pad; 'When I think of all the years I want to be with you, I want to wake up every morning with you in my bed. And you know one of these days when my flashbacks are gone I'll be everything you want in a partner, in a best friend. Will forever be enough time to show my love for you? there ain't no need to rush if we have forever. But one day, I won't be able to be with you any longer. You said that you will marry me. I swear that I will protect you; I swear no-body will hurt you. The more I look back at the past the more reasons I find of why you're the love of my life and if I lost you, I would have lost my-everything. In my heart you mean everything to me, ever since we were 5 I knew I had to get you. And now I have you, girl I have you and that's all I want.'