Trying Not To Love You

Chapter 44

Seth POV:

I groan as I lay down on the floor of the performance center with a heavy feeling in my heart, but not about the racing. It's the first time I'm thinking about my feelings for Dean at work. There is of course a reason for it.

Dean is not here with me to occupy my mind, so I have time to think about our relationship. Usually, I don't like to confuse my mind with other things in practice, but I can't help now. What is the relationship we have between us?

I pull my hair up into a messy bun and try to lie in a comfortable position, not caring about the pants that are clinging to me even more tightly. I drift my fingers down my chest and close my eyes, trying to clear my mind.

I look up at Roman and roll my eyes when he clears his throat to gain my attention. I know the reason for him staying here and wanting to talk to me. It had been a week since I suffered from his amused look and teasing words as we returned from China.

"What?" I ask as I regain my position and sit upon the floor. I never thought I had a sponsor like him who would care about my life than my career. I know I can live a merry life if I take his advice, but it's not that simple as he assumes.

"You're working your ass off since afternoon so I think we're going out tonight, aren't we?" He asks and holds his hand out to me. Even if we are never partied together, I can't accept his offer because I've promised Dean to go out with him.

I take his hand and get up from the floor, thinking about the decision. I shake my head and give him a soft look, "Sorry, man. I've promised Dean that I will drive him to In-N-Out for burgers and fries."

He narrows his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest, "So you can't come out with me for at least a couple of hours! Hmm... You guys confess your love to each other?"

"Um.. what?" I ask and look at him with wide eyes. My mouth is opening and closing several times as the words fail to come out after that.

"Don't play coy." He smirks and shoves me away. "We can see how much you guys are getting closer at day by day. You're not very subtle as much as you think. Right, Marek?" He asks and wraps his arm around Marek's shoulder to tease me.

"Wait, hold on." I have to shake myself out of my speechless stupor. "We're not what you guys think. We're just... friends." I try to make them understand our relationship.

"Uh.. huh," He rolls his eyes and pats Marek on the shoulder, "Do you believe his words?"

I scowl at Marek when he shakes his head and claps his hand with him. I try to convince them, but my cheeks are flushed at their comments. I look down and scratch the back of my neck for standing in front of them like a felon.

"You can't see your face when you look at Dean, but I do. And so does everyone else. Actually, we've got a betting pool between us for when you two are gonna be official." He laughs and continues his teasing with Marek.

No one is here to support me, so I need to save myself as much as I can. "I'm gonna kill you." It's all I can manage to say before I backtrack. "What do you mean my face? What do I do?"

"You're an idiot." He chuckles and points at my eyes with an amused look. "Love comes in at the eye, man. At the eye."

I can't realize Dean's presence until he slides up next to me and tugs my hair as I think about Roman's words. "Shall we go, darling? You promised me fries and burgers." He whispers in my ear and slaps my ass to get me moving.

My cheeks turn beet red as I glance at Roman, who is raising an eyebrow at me as he slings his bag over his shoulder. "Have fun, guys." He winks and leans at Dean's side to give him a brief salute.

Dean shrugs and grabs my wrist, dragging me down the hallway towards the parking garage. I just quiet the entire time and watch him shove my bag into the back of the car. He closes the trunk and turns to look at me quizzically, "Why're you looking at me like that?" 

I rub the back of my neck awkwardly and wonder what the hell is my face doing. "Nothing, I'm not." I insist, knowing how lame it sounds.

"Did your sponsor say something to you? I'll punch his lights out." He cups my cheeks and tries to know is something bothers me.

I remove his hands from my cheeks and try not to think about Roman's words. "No, he's cool. You need not punch anyone, please." I convince him and wave a hand dismissively.

"All right. Let's go, darling, I ain't have all night!" He grabs my hand and pushes me to the passenger seat.

I find myself blush and it's horrifying as the words of Roman affecting my mind this much. I watch Dean like the first time as he settles in to the car and chuckles himself for something. I feel warm just being with him and spend every moment with him.

My breath catches in my throat when he turns his gaze and smiles at me brightly. I can feel the twinkling in my eyes as I see it and remember the words of Roman that love comes in at the eye.

My face burns again when he starts driving but luckily it is too dark to notice and he is rambling about something already, not paying attention to my stupid face that keeps betray me. Who gave it the right, honestly?

I shake my head and look out the window, trying to push all the thoughts away from my mind, including the betting. "Stupid Roman! Stupid Marek!" I mutter under my breath for putting their stupid thoughts in my head.

When I look over at him while we are waiting in the drive-thru line, I can notice the utter glee on his face at the prospect of greasy food. "You okay, dude?" He asks, his voice is gentle and concerned.

"Yeah, I'm good." I smile softly and reach out to put my hand on top of his in between our seats. "Everyone thinks we're dating," I mutter without thinking because I can't confuse my mind anymore.

He grins and laces his fingers with mine, "Well, lucky for you, I'm a cheap date."

I laugh and glance at our holding hands as he rolls down the glass to order our food. After we get the food, we get back on the highway but haven't got far. He suggests making it an actual date and pulls the car into the side of the road.

We sit on the hood of the car and look up at the night sky admirably. It's fantastic to spend the night like this. No one can describe what we feel about each other except us, but they can imagine what we have between us.

"So what did he say to you?" He breaks the silence and tries to clear the awkwardness away.

I sigh and lean my head on his shoulder, "He told nothing. Do I give you a look?" I bite my lip nervously and play with the fries, trying to keep me stable.

"Well, you do." He starts cackling at me and throws a fry at my head, "You're like that cat emoji with the heart of eyes."

"No, I'm not." I pout and cross my arms over my chest. I swear I haven't given any look to him as everyone says, have I?

"It's okay." He says and bumps his shoulder with mine. "I think it's cute." 

"I hate you," I mumble and try to show fake anger at him. I can't offend him even if I try because he is the most lovable person in my life. No one can earn a place in my heart as he does.

"Liar." He grins and places a hand behind my neck, pulling me closer to him to press our lips together. I part my lips almost instantly as he plunges his tongue as far inside my mouth, squeezing my hip slightly with his other hand.

The empty fry box falls to the ground as we lean into each other. We don't care where we are because we forget ourselves into each other's eyes. A bolt of electric forms in our eyes and passes through us as love.