Trying Not To Love You

Chapter 54

Seth POV:

This time also, I complete the race at second, but it doesn't matter, I have some more events to do and show my talent to the world. My gaze searches Dean in the crowd and sees the happiness in his face. Something confuses my mind and makes me think if I want to continue the event.

I let my mind wander as I limp to the backroom and collapse on the chair, massaging my knee through the open spaces of the brace. I groan and try to calm myself, feeling exhausted from the whole thing.

I turn my gaze to the door when Dean opens it and locks it behind him. I look at him a little confused but let it go. I watch him come over to me and grab me by my arm, pulling me up.

He sits on the chair and pulls me on his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist. He keeps me against his chest and presses a kiss on my head. "How do you feel?" He asks, mouth hot and wet against my neck.

"Good," I mumble and think about the confusion in my mind. I don't know how to confess with him what's on my mind, so I just take my time and let it sink in me.

I turn into his arms, so we are face to face. My fingers toying with the sleeve of his t-shirt where it's stretched over his bicep. I lock my gaze on his and mumble, "I love you."

"I love you too." He smiles and gives me a peck on the lips. "Why do you look sad?" He asks, brushing the sensitive skin at the corner of my eye with his thumb.

I shake my head and force a smile that I know he won't buy even for a second. "I'm not." I close my eyes when I feel the warmth of his breath hitting my lips and swallow hard at the feel of his lips against my own in a soft kiss.

"Come on," He says and tucks the strand of hair behind my ear. "Talk to me."

My eyes flicker open to find nothing but concern in those blue orbs. I shrug as best as I can, gaze slowly slipping down to his lips and chin so I won't have to meet his eyes. "I hate to come at second," I confess the half-truth.

"You know it's not the final. You would be at first if your knee didn't mess up at that time." He says, cradling the side of my face with the palm of his hand, thumb brushing back and forth over the swell of my cheekbone. "Seth."

I shrug again and try to believe his words so badly, but nothing is changed because it's not a real problem. The truth is, I hate to suffer him for my dream. I hate to suffer him for my own business. "I'm just being dumb, ignore me," I say softly and try to convince him.

"No. Come on, don't do that." He says, sounding a little frustrated. "Don't shut me out like that."

I maneuver myself out of his hold and get off of him. I can't have this conversation with him if he is so close to me. I don't know what he will express if he knows my problem. Does he understand my insecurity?

"You gonna talk to me?" Dean asks in a defeated voice.

I hate how his voice sounds, so I say quietly, "I don't know. I think I just hurt you for my dream. I hate to suffer you and make you running here and there for me. So I guess why don't I get out of this. I mean, it's all some-" The words slip just as I drop to his lap when he pulls me again.

"It's not only your dream, but it's also my dream. I want to see you as a champion, not a woeful husband. I want you to make me proud, so I won't let you get that from me. Who would run back and forth for you if I wasn't, huh? Don't think like a stupid again." He says and presses a kiss on the corner of my mouth.

"You know I love you. I wouldn't be risking everything if this was just a fling to me. I'm your husband, and I see a future with you so I won't give up anything on you. You gotta believe me, darling." He says and holds me against his chest. His hold is tight as if he keeps holding me the way he is, it will chase all my doubts and fears away.

"I know," I mumble and rest my hands on his arms, pulls them tighter around my waist. "I don't know what my problem is today."

"I get it." He says and cradles my face, pressing our lips together in a delicate kiss.

Dean POV:

It's the last day in France, but we have no strength in wandering around, so we return to the hotel and decide to spend this day on bed. We have an early flight tomorrow to Las Vegas, so I have to pack up our bags while Seth's brief conversation with Roman has been completed.

I lay on the bed and think about his words in the arena. A smile creeps on my lips when I realize his love in me. He is willing to leave his dream for me. He is the best that I get in my life.

Even my sister doesn't imagine in her dream to give something for me, but he... He is ready to sacrifice his dream for me, and I can't get that out of my mind. I never saw someone like him in my life. I get no one like him, even if I try. That's why he is my darling!

I sigh and sit up in bed when he opens the door and gets into the room slowly. His expression changes when his eyes land on me, "Thought you were sleeping." He smiles and slips out of his shoes, leaning against the wall.

"No," I mumble and shake my head. "Can't sleep without you on my side."

"Sap." He says playfully and teasing. He slips his jacket off his shoulders and throws it on the chair.

"Come here." It's somewhere between a demand and a whisper that leaves from my mouth, but he crawls onto the bed nonetheless. He lays next to me and switches off the bedside lamp, pulling the blanket over us.

"Darling," My finger trail along his jaw, stopping at the corner of his mouth. "I tried not to love you in the beginning," I press a kiss on his forehead and feel him relaxing under my touch. I lean down and kiss the side of his face until I reach the edge of his lips. "But I fell for you hard now." I murmur and press my lips on his, pulling him against my body.