Trying Not To Love You

Chapter 46

Seth POV:

I run around the room excited to grab some clothes for the restaurant, which I pick up to give a treat to Dean. No one can believe the reason behind this treat because sometimes I have a doubt in myself whether this is true or not. I came in second place in Texas event, the Lone Star Le Mans.

I know everyone will glance at me now with a doubt in their eyes but just believe, it's true. Shit! I lose my mind in the thought of my own world without realizing that my husband is waiting for me in the living room.

I get ready quickly and leave the room, not wanting him to lose his patience and break up with me. I know I have no reason to think about it but I can't help the directions of my thoughts keep flying in.

I wouldn't think about it if we were friends, but everything was changed now. We should respect the relationship that we have because it has meaning now. Things have been good, so fucking good that I'm not used to, but I will adjust with it soon.

I lick my lips nervously and give him an apologizing smile for losing track of time, "Sorry, Deano. Hmm... Shall we go now?"

He glances at me up and down without answering my question and grabs my hand, pulling me down onto his lap. He wraps his arms around my waist and squeezes it a little.

I try to talk to him, but before I know it, his mouth is hot and wet against my neck. "You're beautiful." He says, his words breath out against my skin. I feel my toes getting curl while my breathing is quicken.

I turn in his hold so we're face to face and lock my eyes on him. There is a lump in my throat, threatening to steal my breath away as I forget myself in his icy blue eyes of him.

"I love you, Seth." He says and brushes his thumb against my lips.

I smile and close my eyes when I feel the warmth of his breath hitting my lips. I swallow hard at the feel of his lips against my own in a soft kiss. My eyes flicker open when I hear him saying, "Come on, darling. I want to hear these exact words from you."

My gaze slowly slipping down to his lips, his chin, his cheek, so I won't have to meet his eyes. I don't know what to do because I feel nervous. I didn't tell these words to anyone before, so I think about it for a few moments.

"Come on," He says again, cradling the side of my face in the palm of his hand. His thumb brushes back and forth over the swell of my cheekbone. "Don't do this to me, just spill it out." He sounds a little frustrated.

I don't know that everything will be the same if I open up the feelings for him. I maneuver myself out of his hold, sliding down to the edge of the couch. I can't think straight with him so close to me, with his arms around me because I don't want to make it seem like I'm doubting him and his feelings for me.

"You gonna talk to me?" He asks, his voice is flat and defeated.

I hate how his voice sounds so I say quietly, "I don't know what to say. I have feelings for you, but I just kinda afraid that this has been all some kind of dream or something. I get scared of getting rip away from you once I wake up from the sleep.."

"Seth," He wraps his arms around my waist and places his head on my shoulder. His hold is tight, as if he keeps holding me the way he is, it will chase all my doubts and fears away. "I love you, right, you know that. I've told you that I wouldn't be with you if I didn't see a future with you. You gotta believe me, darling."

"I know," I mumble and rest my hands on his arms, pulling them tighter around my waist. "I don't know what my problem is."

"I get it." He says softly. I fall on him when he tugs me, laying on the couch. He strokes my hair and stares at me, "I just kinda felt like that at some time. Like it was a dream you could stay with me and you could find someone else who would take care of you good. Yeah, I've trusted in you, but sometimes trust ain't everything."

I swallow roughly and think about his words. There has never been a thought in my mind of finding someone else to be taken care of better. I know he is it for me if I need anything, so why do I find someone for me.

The words spill out of my mouth automatically as I lose track in his soft blue orbs, "Our relationship is built by trust in the first place, not love. There has never gonna be anyone else for me. I don't care how much hard situation we have to face if we need to stay together. And I'll never regret our marriage is a dream!"

"Then believe I'll do the same for you." He says and cradles my face, pressing our lips together in a soft kiss.

I groan and grip his shirt tighter when he licks at my neck and presses a butterfly kiss there. I shiver under his touch when he tugs my shirt up and slides his hand under it. "D-Dean.." I mewl and press my face in the crook of his neck, trying to get used it.

I hold back the moan by biting his neck as his hands run over my sides. However, I try, I can't hold back the shaky breath that escapes, warm all over, as his hands drift down to my ass. I gasp when I feel his hand hover in front of my jeans, trying to undo it.

I get away from him quickly and pull my shirt down, ruffling my hair. "I-I promise to give you a treat at a restaurant so I think we have to leave." I try to convince him as I tuck my shirt inside my pants.

"Oh, come on, darling. Why you gotta be like that?" He asks, a twinkle in his eyes as he laughs. "I'll be happy if you're the dish of my plate."

My cheeks turn red as I hear his words and I try to hide it. I shake my head and laugh a little, grabbing his hand to pull him up from the couch. I can let him all over me and taking me apart piece by piece, but I feel a little insecurity.

We get into the restaurant within 20 minutes and enjoy our time being together. We fit together like we are made for each other, like whatever higher being there is made us from the same cloth, the only two pieces of a puzzle.

When he whispers filthy things in my ear, someone slams their hand on our table and gets our attention. I roll my eyes when I find who it is. I don't want her here to spoil our brief moment and try to rip Dean away from me.

"Hey, Seth. It's good to see you here. I knew you two missed me and happy without me in your life." Becky laughs and flips her hair back, winking at me.

"What do you want, bitch?" He raises his voice and pushes me behind his back, protectively.

"Mind your language, Dean. You know I can raise my voice as well!" She says roughly and pushes him a little. Everyone should care about something, but she doesn't care about anyone, not the people who are surrounding her and also her new boyfriend who is trying to hold her back.

I place my hand on Dean's chest and nod at him before facing her. I stare at her for a few minutes and slap her hard, drawing my fingerprints on her cheek. I turn to shrug at him and earn an encouraging smile from him.

"You b-" I cut her off by showing my hand in front of her face. "Keep those words in your mouth. I think you don't want this hand on your face again. Just understand one thing, even pig can raise its voice so it doesn't matter, but if everyone understands it, that will be a matter."

"Oh, you consider me as a pig. Wow! I don't know if everyone can guess what I'm going to talk about, but you can. Your loveable hubby has a doubt in you can cheat on him with your sponsor. You can ask him if you don't have faith in my words." She smirks and holds her hand with her boyfriend, leaving the place once her job is over.

I turn to look at Dean with hope in my eyes that he doesn't think about me like shit. Instead of proving her words wrong, he just gives me a guilty look. I can understand what is true so I look down, holding back my tears and leaving the place.