Trying Not To Love You

Chapter 49

Dean POV:

When we reach the performance center, Seth gets tensed the entire time as he sees Roman. He hesitates to talk to him, and I know the reason. I don't want to end their friendship because of my stupidity. I have to do something before he goes far away from him.

I wait for the right time to pick Seth with me to the nearby room, wanting to talk to him. I shove him on the wall and stroke his hair gently, trying to make him feel comfortable. "What's wrong with you, darling?" I ask in a calm voice, not wanting others to hear our conversation.

"Nothing," He says and shakes his head. "Just doing my practice."

"Yeah, I know.. but you're also trying to ignore Roman." I scratch his neck for a few moments and place my hands on his shoulders. He shrugs them off before he even realizes he is doing it, blowing out a frustrated breath. "Seth?" I cup his cheeks and try to make him look at me.

He shakes his head again and refuses to meet my eyes, but I take matters into my own hands, squatting down between his legs, hands on his thighs. "Come on, darling. Talk to me." I ask in a soft voice while searching his eyes, begging him silently to let me fix the things. "Okay. If you're not gonna talk to me, I'll take you home with me, not wanting you to practice here in uncomfortable."

He bites his lip and swallows a lump that is forming in his throat. "No," He rasps out, hands clasping onto mine. "I don't... I'm just, God, I don't wanna go home."

"Okay. Then tell me, what's wrong with you even after I ask sorry for doubting you?" I ask and brush my thumbs across his knuckles. "I told you already I was sorry. I ask you again, darling, I'm sorry. I don't want to break the friendship that you and Roman have. So please,.."

He nods slowly and wraps his arms around me, "I don't know if I can talk to him casually after knowing that, but I just try.."

I feel guilty for creating a crack in their friendship, but I will make everything like before so soon. I lean forward and press a kiss on his forehead, hoping everything will be fine.

We return to his practice and I cheer him every bit, encouraging him to become a champion. I know he can do it if his mind doesn't collapse by any thoughts. I want to see him as a champion and I will make him in it.

After his practice is completed, we wave a hand at everyone and make our way outside. As we get in the car, Roman stops us and informs our next tour in France. He gives us the instructions and the terrible weather condition of that place. He gives his opinion to go there a little earlier to adjust to the weather before entering the event.

I also feel it's good for Seth's performance to spend time on an experienced road. I advise him to get a flight there this weekend and he accepts it. I talk to him for a few minutes and say goodbye to him when Marek interrupts us and gets his attention.

I sigh and get in the car with Seth, starting our trip to our house. I can see the tiredness in his face as he scratches his neck and gives a weak smile at me. When we reach the house, he takes a hot shower and tries to get comfortable.

Following him, I slip into the bathroom and take a quick shower, wanting to join him in the bed before he drifts into sleep. When I return to the bed, I get frustrated as I see him sleeping there peacefully. "It's not fair!" I frown and throw the towel at the wall.

He opens one eye and glances at me, giving me a surprise that he is still awake. He sticks his tongue out and laughs at me for my attitude. "Come on, Deano. It's time for bed." He pats the space next to him and soothes the bed.

"Of course," I smirk and walk over to him instead of opting for his other side. I plop right down on his back and make him squeak lightly in surprise. I press a kiss on his head and hold him tightly against me, "How do you feel now?"

"Mmm.. good. I'm always feeling good when your arms around me." He smiles softly and wiggles in my grip, flipping under me to lay flat on his back.

"I'm also feeling good to hold you like this." I press a kiss on his lips and run my hands on his sides teasingly until he puts his arms up and try to pry me off of him by his shoulders.

"I didn't imagine a married life would be like this. If I knew that earlier, I would marry you soon." He says and scratches the back of his neck. "I think it doesn't matter now, right?"

"Yeah," I mumble and lean over to press a kiss on my forehead. I bury my face in his hair and take a deep breath, loving the combined smell of his special color-protecting shampoo and his natural scent. If there is one thing that won't mind me haunting forevermore, it will be this, his hair. It smells like safety, late-night burger runs and the lazy following mornings, and kisses that only end when we both want to pull away.

Like warmth that surrounds my intact body and sparks me up from the inside in a way that only a select few things can. He smells like home. "I love you," I whisper in his ear and kiss the shell of it. I nuzzle my nose further into his hair and wait for a response from him, but I get nothing.

I pull away from him as I stroke his hair slowly, wanting to feel those silky locks in my hands. I glare at him when I find him sleeping underneath me peacefully. I smile when I hear a little snore from him as I move over to him and press a kiss on his swollen, beautiful lips.