bag of bones // one direction // zianourry

chapter 6/baked forgiveness

Louis tapped on Dr. Payne's office desk with a blue ballpoint pen while his mind listlessly wandered elsewhere. Dr. Payne patiently watched Louis, smiling every time their eyes met. he hadn't said anything their entire one on one meeting, he was waiting for Louis to engage first. if he did at all. finally Louis had enough, the silence and the unknown was too much.

"stop staring at me." he says.

"i'm not, why don't we talk about whatever you want? before i get to the practical medical talk."

Louis huffs and rolls his eyes. he lets the pen go and stares down at his dirty black converse.

"i could use new shoes." he says but feels kinda awkward when Liam leans over the desk to stare at his shoes.

"maybe you can cash in some lucky points and buy some new ones." Liam says.

"i was thinking you could buy them for me." Louis shrugs.

"if you want new shoes, you have to be responsible and get them yourself." Liam says with a slight chuckle.

"i thought you take care of our necessities." Louis argues.

"dirty converse don't mean you need new ones. they mean you're messy. i don't see any holes in those." Liam said and Louis just decides to move on.

"how many of those points do i have anyway?" Louis asked, honestly curious about it.

"you have 30." Liam reads off of a paper. Louis takes a peak and sees that Niall has 120, Zayn has 340, and Harry doesn't have any.

"why doesn't Harry have any points?" Louis asked again. Liam swiftly covers his notes and smiles.

"we're not here to talk about Harry remember? let's talk about Louis."

"Louis doesn't want to talk about Louis."

Liam sighs softly and pulls out his medical notes.

"it appears that since you've moved in, you've lost another pound." Liam says and Louis is lucky he understands these weight measurements a bit.

"you're refusing to eat anything we serve, is there something we can make specially for you?" Liam asked. Louis shakes his head.

"alright, well Lou, there's no way you're going to start feeling better unless you change the habits that made you feel sick to begin with."

"i'm not sick doctor."

"Louis." Liam says rather sternly and it catches Louis off guard.

"you and i both know you're a smart kid, what you're not gonna do in these one on ones is continue this front and lie to my face. you're a strong boy, but for these measly minutes, please, try and show me your fragile side."

"what do you recommend i do? start crying and give you a sob story about why i am the way i am? news flash Dr. Payne, i don't have one."

"i want you to start admitting to yourself that you need help. your defense mechanism isn't working around here because Harry and Niall still want to crawl up in that head and learn all about how you appear the way that you do, despite yourself."

"now you sound like Zayn." Louis grumbles.

"you two are far more alike than you are different actually." Liam said with a laugh again.

the rest of the meeting doesn't go as smoothly. Louis grew increasingly frustrated and refused to talk to Liam any further. before dinner that night, the four boys sit in the living room area for group. Niall is sitting on the floor picking at his nails. Harry is sitting on the opposite end, not daring to look at Niall. ever since their falling out, they've given each other the silent treatment, and everyday they go without speaking, Liam removes 2 lucky points. Harry doesn't have any so he has nothing to lose. Niall on the other hand, simply does not care anymore. Zayn is on the couch, sitting with his legs crossed. he's scratching at his arms. the scars from his needle pricks are starting to cause him eczema. Mom is applying ointment to his arms and is currently wrapping them up. Louis sits in the love seat facing Liam. he feels like he's in the nut house with all the chaos around him.