bag of bones // one direction // zianourry

chapter 18/Zayn's Introduction

*this chapter is going to be written different, as in the point of view of Zayn, since his introduction isn't one from how he ended up where he is, but just his experiences away from the boys in his new rehab. i'm calling this his introduction because he is the only boy to do a journey like this alone. enjoy!*

i kinda knew i was going to die.

it kind of stung when the last little bit of heroin was in my veins now. i felt woozy. kind of like i wanted to throw up but i couldn't because of how cold i felt. then i felt shivering. that's when the panic settled in because the shivering turned to convulsions. my brain was fuzzy. i felt like i was getting tunnel vision until suddenly my vision was totally blacking out. i really wanted Niall to burst into the room now that i was in actual trouble, but i knew he wouldn't. i think i slammed onto the floor and kicked the wall as i went down. i don't remember much after this.

all i knew was i was probably dying.

when i finally woke up, by some kind of miracle, a bright white light was blinding me above. i blinked a couple times before they finally adjusted. that's when panic settled in because i felt like something was down my throat and it hurt. i started to thrash around and i heard my mum yell out;

"oh my god, he's awake!"

i felt a couple of strong arms hold me down, stopping me from moving around. suddenly, a doctor is above me and he injects me with a huge shot. my muscles quickly relaxed. it kind of felt like the rest of my hospital stay was a blur. the boys came to see me. Liam would constantly be in and out of my room talking with the nurses and other doctors of my enlarged heart and differing brain scans. brain scans that only occur to a user. someone addicted.

i don't like hospital food. i also don't like physical therapy. i fell too many times. Liam picked me up from the ground when he was there. when it was just the physical therapist, they forced me to get up on my own with my cane.

they say something about Liam enabling me too much. having too much attachment to me.

i also hate my new rehab. it's kinda gross, and the walls are bare with only white paint. no pictures or color. the boys aren't here with me anymore, and this uniform i have to wear smells funny.

i have a new roommate now. his name is justin. he's a nice lad. he twitches a lot. says he was born a crack baby. never really learned how to control his ticking. i don't mind it.

therapy kind of sucks. it was nothing like the home back with Liam. we have to sit in rows since it's a bunch of us, and we all talk about our battles and experiences.

like NA if you will.

the first time i ever went to an NA meeting, i was 13. my mom caught me using and forced me to go. i hated it. so i never went back.

i have my arms crossed over my chest. highly disinterested in the stories being shared today. like most days. i just want to go home.

the girl speaking is beautiful. she's about a year or so younger than me. she has blonde platinum hair that is way more fried than Niall's, with purple streaks in it that are faded. she has a black nose ring. i think her name is Perrie.

"when i was raped at 15 at a high school party, i decided that my life was already going to shit so might as well smoke crack during my lunch break at school..." i decided i had heard enough.

"this shits kinda sad huh?" Justin leans over to whisper to me. i see that he's clawing at his neck, withdrawal for sure, and he's jittery. i place a hand over his knee.

"yeah, kinda." i whisper back and suddenly everyone's clapping and praising Perrie for being brave for sharing her story.

"how about we hear from someone new before we break off for dinner and wind down activities?" Mrs. Conner said. they bring her in for charity work, as she hosts NA meetings for young teens pretty habitually. i think we're her pro bono.