I Ain't Playing [[PJM]] ✔️

I Didn't Move Fast Enough

Jimin

I had forgotten how to smile. Even the fans were starting to worry about me. A fake smile never convinced them I was fine. I had lost the ability to perform to the best of my ability. My heart was broken and sadness had wrapped its cold arms around me, keeping me from running away from it all.

Hana still hadn't woken up and the doctors had tried to take her out of the coma, but she just refused to open her eyes. I wanted her back and I was struggling to get out of bed in the morning. The only thing that managed to get me up was my little boy.

Jihun. Our beautiful little ray of sunshine. He was missing his mum just as much as I was. He didn't want to settle at night and cried even when I was giving him a bottle. It upset me because there was nothing I could do to help him. My friends had moved in for a while to help me because if they hadn't, I would have probably ripped my hair out or even worse.

My manager said that I should take a break from the band while Hana was in a coma but I had to focus on something. I wasn't doing a good job of it but I needed to do something. I needed to show my son that I could do something right.

There was a knock on the door and I looked up to see Jin. I rubbed my face and sat up as he came in. He sat beside me after saying a quiet hello to Jihun who had finally fallen asleep in his pram. Jin squeezed my shoulder and sighed.

"She won't wake up," I whispered, "The doctor said they don't understand why she won't wake up,"

"She will wake up," Jin said, "She woke up when she got into the car accident and everyone knows that she is a fighter. Look at what she endured from her family. If she was weak, then I'm sure she would have...taken her own life by now,"

"This is all my fault," I said, my eyes burning with tears, "I always seem to fuck things up when it comes to her. I don't deserve her and she deserves better. I can't keep making her cry. I hate myself, Jin. I fucking hate myself for what I have done to her,"

Jin sighed, "You deserve to suffer a little bit but you don't deserve this much pain. Yes, you fucked up but that can't be helped. Everyone knows how much you love Hana and what happened was something no one could have predicted,"

"I didn't move fast enough to stop her falling," I cried, "I didn't reach her in time and when I dropped to her side, she wasn't moving. What if she never wakes up? I can't live without her, Jin. She is everything to me. I love her so much,"

Jin grabbed my ear making me look at him. Tears had fallen down his face and he yanked hard on my ear, "Now, you listen to me Park Jimin. You will never speak of that again, do you hear me? You can't live without her but Jihun can't live without you. How do you think Hana will feel if she knows you said that? Jihun needs you to keep it together because there is no way he will be losing both parents you son of a bitch. Hana is going to wake up and then you can sort your shit out,"

"Y-your hurting m-me,"

"Good," He snapped and shoved my head back, "We are hurting just as much, Jimin. Hana is like a sister to me and the boys. It isn't easy for us either. Do you think we don't cry ourselves to sleep or think about what would happen if she doesn't wake up?"

I wiped my eyes and looked back at Hana, "You're right,"

"I know I'm right," He said, "And what about her friends? The boys are heartbroken and have cancelled every performance they have. Shownu told me that they have made a pause on the song they were going to release. You don't want to know how the girls are right now. Everyone needs to stay strong and they need you to stay strong for your son,"

"I just want her back, Jin. I've...I love her so much and I'm scared that she won't remember me when she wakes up and what if she forgets about our son? That will break my heart even more,"

"Try not to think of the what-ifs. Hana will not forget about your son and she will not forget about you," He said firmly, "Now, you need to come home and you need to eat what I cook you. I won't have you lose any more weight. It is unhealthy and you haven't eaten more than a bite for a week,"

"Can you wait outside with Jihun for me?" I asked, "I just want to say goodbye to her,"

"Of course," He said standing up, "Don't be too long or I will send in Jungkook to carry you out of the room,"

Jin left the room and I held Hana's hand, "You would probably tell me off for not taking care of myself. Don't worry. Jihun is being well looked after. I've stepped up which is what I should have done months ago,"

I kissed the wedding ring she was wearing and my tears dropped onto her hand.

"I love you, baby," I whispered, "So much. When you wake up, then I will make sure I don't let you down again. If you want to sign the divorce papers then sign them. I will just propose to you and do our marriage the right way. I just want you to be happy again and if it is without me then...I will do my best to support you and our son,"

I let out a shaky breath and stood up.

"The doctor said they will try to wake you up again tomorrow," I said, "I wish I could be here but the police are interviewing me about what happened. I'm going to make sure that Eujin and your parents-"

My sentence was cut off by a loud beeping sound and the next thing I knew, nurses and doctors were rushing into the room.

"Get the crash cart!" One doctor yelled.

A/N: Don't ask me to update or when the next update will be.

I have said this on many occasions: I can only update this story when I am in a certain mood. I have a young son. I also don't always want to update.

If people keep pressuring me to update then it makes me just want to forget about the story and I don't want to do that. I want to finish my stories even if they are slow updates.

Don't forget to vote and comment throughout.

P.S: If you ever want to know what songs I listen to when writing, then find me on Spotify. For sad stories it's mostly 'Relax' but don't judge on the random playlists I have. There are SO many playlists that help me with stories and 'oof songs' is the playlist for naughty scenes lol.

hantaco

^^ My Spotify name ^^

Stay weird <33