Strings of Regret

Chapter 10

"Ba't ang tagal niyo? Traffic ba sa EDSA?" tanong ni Kean nang papalapit na kami ni Reese sa mesa nila.

I was still flustered because of what happened earlier. Halos mangatog na ang binti ko at hindi na ako makagalaw. I recalled what happened.

He gave me one last smile before walking first. Nilingon niya ako ng mapagtantong hindi ako sumunod sa kanya.

He raised a brow at me. "What? Kailangan pa ba kitang buhatin para sumunod sa akin?"

At napasunod ako sa kanya ng wala sa oras. Ang mga munting halakhak niya ay maririnig sa hallways. He's making fun of me! He's enjoying this so much. Ugh! Nakakainis. Ba't ba gustong gusto ko siya? Ang lakas tuloy ng epekto ng mga salitang binitawan niya. Parang bagyo, nililipad ako. Kahit na naglalakad na kami sa cafeteria parang naiwan parin ang kaluluwa ko sa hallway.

"Hoy!"

I jumped in my seat when I heard one of them shout.

"Ay tangena!"

"Aba't nagmumura.. Tita Percy oh, anak niyo," tila pangangaral ni Cassi sa akin.

"Kasing kulay mo na ang kamatis Bri," nakangising aniya ni Sab.

I unconsciously touched my cheeks and felt a warm sensation. Mas lalong namula ang pisngi ko nang natanaw ang nanunuksong titig nila. I glanced at Reese and saw his smug smirk plastered on his face.

I ignored everyone's stare and proceeded on sitting on the chair beside Reese. I had no choice because its the only vacant chair left. Kapagkuwa'y nagsimula na akong kumain dahil pinag-order na pala nila kami.

"Sabay tayo mamaya?"

We were walking side by side on our way to the second building. Napalingon ako sa kanya ng magsalita siya.

His hands were on his pockets and he was looking ahead. He stopped walking and turned to ask that. I can't stop myself from staring at him. From his expressive almond eyes, down to his narrow pointed nose, thin and naturally pinkish lips, to his angled jaw. It was like my first time staring at him up close. Bumagay sa moreno niyang kutis ang kanyang mukha.

My gaze went back to his eyes. Those same eyes I had always loved. He said that he loved staring at mine and he would always get lost staring at it. Ang hindi niya alam ay gano'n rin ang epekto ng mga mata niya sa akin. I would often stop not only because of how beautiful his eyes were but also because of the different emotions swirling in them. Sometimes it feels like the time had stopped for me and I'll get drowned just by watching those eyes. Feels like I'm drowning without suffocating.

I was too mesmerized and engrossed staring at his facial features that I didn't notice we were stuck in the middle of the hallway. Me with an awe struck face, him with a soft smile and an unknown glint in his eyes.

I blinked twice to wake myself up before answering, "Kasabay ko si Renan. Uuwi kami agad."

His smile widened. "I know. Ihahatid ko lang naman kayo sa sakayan."

"Bakit?" nagtatakang tanong ko.

Anong pumasok sa utak nito at ihahatid daw kami sa sakayan? Naku, Reese tumigil ka! Papaasahin ko na naman ang sarili ko at masasaktan na naman ako. I don't want that. I don't want to hope for something as unreachable as that especially if I don't have any assurance that he feels the same way I mean, he could be joking and I'm just putting meaning in the smallest things he does. We're friends and I don't want to risk that. I know what it feels to be hurt because you lost your love and broke a friendship as well.

Yes, you heard it right. Love. I had denied that for such a long time already but no matter how I deny, I can't just lie to myself. My heart won't allow that pero mas gugustohin kong sarilihin at kimkimin ang nararamdaman kaysa sabihin sa kanya na wala naman akong pinanghahawakan na kasiguraduhan na magiging tagumpay ang pag-amin ko. I don't want to lose him again. Not again. I don't think I can endure that. Ako pa naman ang tipo na madaling masaktan.