thirty-four

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Dear witch or wizard reading this:

YOU-KNOW-WHO IS NOT BACK!!!!!

HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED IS NOT BACK!!!

IT'S ALL A LIE!!!

HARRY POTTER LIES!!!

HE'S NOT BACK!!!

Signed, Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic

Do you think I should also write that Dumbledore is after my job? We all know he's after the position of the Minister for Magic, but should I put that in the letter? No, don't put every single word I'm saying into the letter! Stop that! I was just...

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Do you think I should also write that Dumbledore is after my job? We all know he's after the position of the Minister for Magic, but should I put that in the letter? No, don't put every single word I'm saying into the letter! Stop that! I was just asking for your honest opinion, whether I should write 'DUMBLEDORE IS TRYING TO BE THE MINISTER FOR MAGIC! GO BACK TO SCHOOL, DUMB DUMBLEDORE!' or not? No, no, stop! I don't want to write that! I was only joking! Merlin, the one time I try to make a joke. 

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