"This story is about the boy I loved. This is about his suffering. This is about my suffering. All of it due to one thing. Affluenza."
TW : Key themes of suicide.
Sebastian Grey. Golden boy, trust fund baby, and Braylen Adams' mortal enemy. Braylen...
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SEBASTIAN'S EYES FINALLY return to mine and it feels like I can breathe again. He smiles gingerly, messing with his sweatpants again and I smile softly back. "You're afraid of me?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
"Terrified," he mouths, smile dropping.
"Why?" I whisper.
Sebastian sighs deeply. "I'm scared that however this ends...you're going to get hurt. I'm scared that you're going to hate me again. I'm scared to mess this up, I'm scared to mess us up."
"I get that," I respond. "I don't want us to end badly either. So let's not."
I crawl towards him until I'm in between his legs, grabbing his hand and interlocking our fingers. "That works for me," he murmurs back, but there's a strange twinge in his eyes. Before I can ask him about it he speaks again. "B, you said that you felt empty. What did you mean?"
"Oh," I whisper, looking down. "It's just...I feel like I don't know them, Sebastian. I never knew my dad and what I did know of my mother was...confusing. Whenever she'd get done with an episode she'd always tell me she loved me. Sometimes I wish I could see her again, you know? To see if I'd imagined her ever loving me."
Sebastian raises an eyebrow. "Why don't you?"
I press my hand on his chest to force myself to sit up, raising my eyebrows at him. He absentmindedly tucks a strand of hair behind my ear as he stares back at me. "You're kidding, aren't you?"
I watch as his Adam's Apple bobs up and down. "I'm not," he responds. Sebastian's voice is soft when he continues. "Your dad isn't coming back, baby. And I know you feel like that's half of you gone, but the other half is still here. I don't know her so I'm not going to pretend like I do, but she'd be an idiot to not love you."
"You said you didn't," I argue softly and he reaches up and rubs his thumb along my cheek.
Smiling cheekily, he leans back down. "Yeah. That's how I know."
I laugh, laying back down next to Sebastian and resting my head back onto his chest. "I still don't know what to do with my half-brother from hell."
"Whatever you want, Braylen," Sebastian murmurs. "You have the right to feel how you need to feel. But just remember that the kid is innocent. He's probably confused and scared and sad because everything's changed for him. He's making an effort, B."
I groan into Sebastian's shirt. "When did you get so wise?"
Sebastian laughs and then we both stiffen at the sound of two quick door knocks. I begin to untangle myself from Sebastian but he just pulls me back into the position we were in. "We're not having sex or anything," he whispers and then pinches my cheek in between his fingers. "No need to hide."
