Pink Poetry

57. Grey (lgbtq+)

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Let me be a boy
In a field of sunflowers
Running in my overalls
Muddied feet
Fragrant grey hair
Radiant smile
Soft features.

Fallen for a city boy
With a gentle stare and
A husky voice.

Stolen glances
Light touches
Flushed cheeks;
A whimsical teenage dream.

And when the boy,
Who's my dearest
Holds my hand
I flinch a little
In panic I look around
Now he whispers, tenderly,
He'll wait up till
I muster the courage
To call him mine.

- Pink Poet

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How long was I in love with you?
Longer than I realized about myself
Even before I learnt how lonely these feelings make you
And the despair of them being to a person of same gender.

Love and the feelings accompanied with it, never felt so bothersome even if I was heartbroken.

As a woman loving a man came so natural. And naturally came the acceptance from my peers and society.

But how do I describe the desperation of the same love when it is directed towards a person I'm not supposed to hold?

The 'I love you's that once effortlessly slipped through my lips, now made me question my identity and the depth of my own emotions.

Was it always this difficult to love someone?

I promised a love to the moon and back to a man. So why did I hesitate to brush few strands of hair from her face? 

Even if it's breaking me from within why can't I call her mine?
Hiding behind my cowardice are these feelings that I can't abandon.
Her smile, leaves a ache in my heart.
Such a beautiful misery.

Pink Poet, 23/09/2020
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A/N:
Before hitting the publish button, I just felt like adding more lines.

The poem is such a happy one but the lines later turned so miserable. Huh! I'm such a sucker for sad endings.

I hope you loved both version of Grey.
I might later just make new page for the lines. But I felt for now, the poem and the lines should be together.

I hope you enjoyed reading.

Do leave your thoughts in comments. I would love to know how you felt after reading it.

Thank you.