The Day I Turned Into a Cat (Completed)

Walmart Mafia?

"So," Charlie began, "I'm sure you are familiar with the mafia."

OH MY GOSH! I was right! The mafia are out to get us and we are going to die from whatever torturous methods they use on innocent animal-humans. I never asked for this, dear God, please help me! I'm to young to die! And poor Nikki, if they murder her, Rice's family is going to loose a lot of money. Wait a second, that shouldn't matter, they're filthy rich. What does the mafia even look like? What if Charlie is part of the mafia? OMG! I am going to die in a strangers living room. We should have attacked him before so he can't kill us now! Why me!?

"And it's true that a certain gang has made its way up to Canada. Well, I'll advance on that. It's not really the mafia-"

Thank you, my good Lord!

I'm pretty sure some invisible sweat just got wiped off of my brow at his statement.

"But a more simplified gang that broke off from the Mafia. They do things a little bit differently and they've changed their "methods." They go around acting like civilians, using scams and smooth sounding deals to win you over. But then it advances into threats, beatings, gun pointing, and money lost. And you guys and me have been victims."

Whoa, like murder victims? I knew I wouldn't like where this story was going.

"They came to my house one day. The guy was an average joe, but neatly dressed. He told me how he could provide me with quick cash if I invested in a specialized diet drink. It was a new "juice cleanse" that had been sweeping over Europe and would provide me with a large investment if I gave them $5 000. He was so good at talking that I fell for his trap. I was a stupid, stupid idiot."

"Yeah. No offense, Charlie but "kidnapping" animals was a pretty stupid idea, too. Did you ever graduate? I think you should go back and get your dumb diploma. Or maybe you'd fail that, too." I whined in a high meow. Ally let out a amused bark and Charlie looked confused.

"Do I even want to know what you just said."

I shook my head.

"Gosh this is weird talking to animals. Anyhow, I signed the contract, wrote a check for a quarter of the money and sent the guy off. Five days later, I got a call saying that I was able to come and pick up some of the product to try for myself, friends, and family. They told me a time and place and I was actual punctual this time. I arrived half an hour early, just in time to catch some of the men's meeting. I soon learned their plan."

"Great. If it's anything like Ally and I's plan, we'll be even more screwed than before." I meowed. Once again, Ally barked gleefully.

"Umm, do you guys wanna tell me anything?"

I shook my head and smiled, but I probably looked like a constipated cat with scrunched up eyes.

"Fine," he huffed. "I'll just go on with my story acting as if I don't have two animals mocking me."

Ally wagged her tail.

Sighing, Charlie continued. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I was just sitting in a chair outside the room and I could hear their whole conversation clearly. They were stealing prototype drugs from Newbliss and sticking them in the drink and selling it as the "juice cleanse." It was an drug meant to relieve stomach cramps, but since it wasn't perfected it had its side effects. For starters, you have hallucinations, out of body experiences, nauseous, cravings, and of course, it quickly became addicting. Now if they ever fix the drug, it'll be a lot better, but they needed the bad version to keep people buying. When I heard this, I went back to my car and stayed there until I was sure I would be good. Then, I grabbed the juice and started on my way out."

By the time he finished saying all of that, I was super confused. Out of body experiences? Was that what was happening? Being Dexter seemed way to real for that. By now I was just confused, scared and felling extremely uneasy.

"When I was loading it in the truck, two buff thugs came out followed by the one and only, Richard McTang. They beat me up, stole the juice, not that I minded, and stuck it in Richard's truck. Now this is something very important about the juice. This simple step can change the juice from being effective to destructive. This little change can be the one reason that the drug works or the buyer never comes back."

I waited as he rattled on about the importance of this step. Was it something dangerous? Illegal? Scary? Expensive? I craved to find out.

"The thing you must do is...."

Seriously, Charlie. This is life, not a soap opera. You don't have to pause for suspense.

"Keep it refrigerated."

Seriously?

That's stupid.

"Yup. If it's not refrigerated for to long, a special acid inside the pill will take over the drug and destruct the bottle and do damage to whatever it leaks on. It's extremely harmful to your body, especially if you have to much to fast. Now this is where you come in. As Richard was driving home, he probably realized that the juice was warming up much to fast. So he had to stop somewhere to refrigerate it. He stopped at your house, Rachel, or Dexter, whatever. He and your mom probably went out while it was cooling down and then you and Ally must've come along. Did you drink the juice?"

Suddenly, I remembered the awful drink we tried. I remember how confused I was since my mom never buys juice. I remembered how much we drank. I remembered the text message Ally sent to Kevin. I remembered the high pitch car horn that must've been Richards. I remember waking up as Dexter.

I nodded sheepishly, happy that I couldn't talk so I wouldn't make a fool out of myself trying to explain.

"Then I guess that explains your little "transformation" or out of body experience, whatever you want to call it. I'm still not sure how everything works, I'm no nutritionist. But I do know you must've drank a lot for this to happen. And who knows, maybe some crazy teleportation technology was added to the mix." He chuckled at his so not funny joke. "I'm kidding guys," he said after catching his breath. "But seriously now, do you recognize any of the members?"

He pulled out his phone and showed us a picture. I looked at it, long and hard. Something about the guys seemed familiar.

And suddenly, I remembered where I saw them.

Did I seriously see these guys at...

Walmart?