Daydream

34 3 16
                                    

❝My life was totally simple until I woke up in the bed of a world-famous K-POP band member.❞

Daydream by DiamondMaknae 13.2K Reads, 2.2K Votes, 75 Parts

Title: 4  The title goes with the story, making it sound like a wish-fulfillment story but it turns out to be something else

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Title: 4  The title goes with the story, making it sound like a wish-fulfillment story but it turns out to be something else.  The mc is perhaps in a daydream.  It's good to plant that idea into the reader's head from the get-go. 

Cover:  3  Although I like the low-quality photo of jk, the cover does not make me think of a daydream or a world where my dreams come true.   I love the new cover with JK in those ripped jeans.

Description:  8 This will certainly lure in Jungkook stans.

Plot: 25 At first I found it a little cliche that Y/N wakes up in JK arms, but you made it sound like it was a dream so I thought it was different and rather charming.  The charm of your plot is the character's personalities and the way they interact with each other, also showing the sweet relationship between Y/N and JK.  Perhaps it is your own personality coming through and that is a plus.  For me, the story would have more impact if it was shorter.  Sometimes you can have too much of a good thing.   You succeed in having a strong character even though she is nameless.  You know how I feel about Y/N characters.

Writing Style:  7 To be honest, I would enjoy your writing style more if the story was presented in 1st or 3rd person pov.  You already know this so I won't go into the reasons.  

I congratulate you on adding the poems to the story. They give an extra touch that is very sweet.  

Diction: 9 Your word choice is good.  This is one little instance where a different word would give it more sense. ->

"I had been sleeping on my couch inside our apartment in Australia, in 2019." You said, trying to make it look sane.   

I would change to: trying to make it sound sane.

Dialogue: 5 The dialogue is all jumbled up with different characters speaking within the same paragraph.  This can easily be fixed.  Check out the chapter in this book called 'How to punctuate dialogue.' 

It was sometimes hard to tell who is speaking making the book less enjoyable.  I think this one thing is the most important to fix first.  

Grammar: 7 I saw some grammar mistakes that you could easily fix with Grammarly.  For example: "Ok wait wait wait." This requires comas after every word.  Simple things like this Grammarly can catch for you.

Aesthetic: 8 The pictures are wow, and the book header is nicely done.  You kept the whole aesthetic of the book consistent and the low-quality photos are adding to the romantic vibe, but the extra spacing between paragraphs is annoying.  

Originality and Appeal: 7 Congratulations, you captured the appeal of many people as witnessed by your many reads and comments.  


Total: 83/100

Total: 83/100

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