Twitterpatted

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❝I think I am feeling a forelsket ❞she smiled.❝And what does that mean? ❞he asked. ❝The euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love ❞she slowly tiptoed to kiss him.

Twitterpated by my_bts_diary  1.1K Reads, 370 Votes, 18 Parts

Title: 5  This title is original

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Title: 5  This title is original.  I never heard of this word before and I found it so cute that it was made up by the screenwriters from the Bambi movie.

Cover: 5  This adorable picture of Jimin would entice anyone to read your book and find out what the title means.  Good job!

Description: 9  Another use of a little-known word, "forelsket."  Being that the word is being used as an adjective for the feeling of being in love, in other words, "euphoric," I don't think it needs the "a" in front of it.  

You would say, I think I am feeling euphoric, not I think I am feeling a euphoric.

Plot:   15 Although the plot is unoriginal, as I have read many stories on Wattpad about someone meeting cause they have been texting the wrong number, it is presented in a charming and humorous manner.  

Writing Style: 8 Your distinctive playfully voice comes through in your work and for this book, it is fitting.

Diction: 8  I noticed a few word choice problems.  For instance, you push things to the center of the room, not at the center of the room.

Did he run away? and not Did he ran away?

I haven't seen him from the morning.  Should be, I haven't seen him since this morning.

You can try using a grammar checker to catch these mistakes with tense. 

Dialogue: 8  While texting the grammar rules are inapplicable, but once you are writing the dialogue between characters, you need to follow the rules.  Specifically, in chapter 9, some punctuation is missing.  

Grammar: 6  You have punctuation and tense problems that can be easily fixed with a grammar checker.

Aesthetic: 8  I liked that you included many pictures throughout the book and the spacing and bolding of the texting made it easy and enjoyable to read.  However, it is not necessary to italicize the narration. 

Originality and Appeal:  8 The story is a fun read especially if you are in the mood for funny/silly banter between young flirty characters.  The main character, Reemi has a strong personality that contrasts beautifully against Jimin's softer traits.  She boldly sexualizes their conversations when he is obviously more timid in this area.  The story is not complete so I'm curious to see how they will end up.  Will she undermind his masculinity thus making him act boldly out of character, or will she fall in love with his soft romantic side?  I guess we will find out.

80/100


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