Ethereal {L Lawliet x Reader} • Death Note [COMPLETED]

Chapter 36 | the build up

Lying on the bed, under the canopy on the silky sheets, L lay. You still downstairs finishing up your share of work. The room only lit by the moonlight of the open curtains and glass doors of the balcony. Fly screen doors still shut and making the curtains blow in the gentle breeze. The sounds of the city many stories below echoed in his he distance.

Other than that white noise it was silent.

Leaving L alone with his thoughts. One thing had been on his mind recently.

He was running out of time. The Yotsuba leg of the case was in the beginning of the end, if he didn't act soon, by the time it did end... he'd end too. He knew what he had to do, but he was hesitant.

He'd never had sex before. Sure as a rowdy teen he'd seen pornography and had urges, but never acted upon them and went out seeking a girl. The most he'd done is have a few awkward wet dreams as a teenager and occasionally popped an awkward boner while he was working and found his mind wandering. But nothing more.

He just could not stop thinking about the way you touched him a few days ago. Since Matsuda fuck up, the taskforce have been monitoring Yotsubas meetings and preparing to catch them using Matsuda appearing on TV. Time was really ticking.

This was his ticket to safety, to immortality. He knew the aftermath would be a hazy blur. One thing he particularly couldn't stop thinking about was the process.

Every god that had explained the transformation process told him that the moment right after both parties climax is when the transformation began and for a good 15 or so seconds he'd feel the most euphoric pleasure shoot through his body before going weak and collapsing.

What did that pleasure feel like? He couldn't stop thinking about it. Would it make him hazy? Would it leave him in shock? Would he unintentionally let out a hentai-esque sigh of ecstasy at the feeling?

But the thing on his mind the most was nerves. He knew what he had to do, but he didn't know if he could... he'd heard it's difficult to bring a girl to finish, especially on the first time. Would he even be able to do it?

Insecurity was definitely present in his mind. He'd have to expose himself to you, let you touch him in places no one ever had, let you hear the lewd noises you'd force out of him. Was he ready for that?

It's not that he didn't trust you. He trusted with with his life. It's because he was so... venerable in that position. He'd always had metaphorical walls up around him, every day of his life. And to have them broken down was a scary thought even if it was by you.

He was so nervous. He knew he had to. But he wasn't sure if he was completely ready.

That's the thing... we wanted to. So badly. But he was scared of being that vulnerable. The last time he was vulnerable he ended up an orphan. There was a considerable amount of trauma there.

"Lawliet"

He jumped, turning his head. On the balcony stood a girl with long flowing hair and a Greek toga. She had that deity glow. He knew who it was. The one Kami involved in all this he was yet to meet.

"Aphrodite..." he said.

She walked in, sat on the edge of the bed and gave L a smile.

"I could sense your nerves. I've never felt someone so scared but so eager before... What's wrong?" She asked.

L was silent for a moment. If there was anyone he could talk to about love and not be judged, it was Aphrodite. She's literally the most powerful goddess of love, she'd be able to help.

"I want to... I really do but..." he began.

"But?"

"The last time I was that vulnerable I just ended up abused and abandoned... it's not that I don't trust her. Because I do, and I love her. It's the fear I'll disappoint her..." He sighed.

"Darling... she'd never feel that way about you. She's your soulmate, and a literal love goddess. Nothing you can do will ever disappoint her" Aphrodite said.

L felt her hands tilt his head up too look at her.

"Listen my boy... (y/n) is one of the most passionate lovers I've ever met. Her energy is bursting with desire and affection. She's the spitting image of a love goddess. She'll guide you if you're not sure, she'll listen to every request you say, she'll make sure you feel like you're in pure euphoria. She knows love like the back of her hand, she'll know exactly what to do to make it work. There's no need to be insecure about anything" Aphrodite assured.

L sighed, glad that someone who knew what they were talking about confirmed just how amazing you were. But there was still insecurity there.

"I'm sure the me she fell in love with in that past life looked a lot more attractive" he said.

"Don't say that, you're such a gorgeous boy Lawliet. In fact, humans don't actually change much when they reincarnate. Maybe eye colour, or hair style or height will change. But for the most part you stay relatively the same. She fell in love with this you, sure, you may have had a different hair cut at the time... but you still looked mostly the same"

"Really?"

"Really. You've grown and improved so much since the start of the case. You've become an amazing soulmate to (y/n), your self love has improved a lot even if there's still a little further to go. Love really can change a person and you've gotten so much more trusting, emotionally available, you've gotten over a bit of trauma, you've smiled more. That's what really matters. You are healing, and this might be the final step to you breaking down all those walls and letting (y/n) in completely"

Aphrodites words made him think. He had grown, he had changed for the better. She was right, he needed this not only to save his life, but to break down those last few walls.

He needed this... he wanted this.

"Yeah... you're right..." he smiled.

"Honey I'm a Kami, I'm always right" she joked.

L snickered, the mood lightened by her humour.

"I won't keep you much longer. (Y/n) was almost done the last time I saw. I just came down to make sure you were ok"

She got up again, ruffling his hair.

"Thank you" He said.

"Don't worry about it doll. And don't worry about how good you'll be be, I've seen you eat pudding cups with no spoon. You'll be fine. And don't worry, this is a private moment, none of us Kami will be watching. When this is all over, I'll definitely be having some long chats with you about everything and how far you've come"

"Thank gods. Thanks"

"I'll leave you two to it. Treat her well"

"I wouldn't dream of treating her badly"

With a smile, she turned and waved a hand over her head, fading into the astral plane to head home. It'd been ages around deities now and he was still amazed by seeing things like that. He took a breath, psyching himself up.

Sitting on the end of the bed facing the door he waited. Preparing himself. Tonight would be the night he lost his virginity to a love goddess to save his life. After a while, you entered the room, immediately shifting into your true form. You're wings sprouting from your back above the low backed silky nightgown you wore.

"Thank gods that's over. I'm about done with chasing up reports" you sighed.

You pulled the clips from your hair, putting them aside on the dressing table.

This was it, he had to do it.

"(Y/n)" he said.

"Yes darling?" You replied.

"...I'm ready..."

You stopped, turning to face him.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured" you asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm ready... I want this, no I need it. I... I need to feel your skin against mine so badly. Please" He said, cheeks red and gazing down at his hands.

You walked over, placing your fingers under his chin and tilting his head up toward you. One hand careering his cheek.

"You don't have to be so nervous, I'll take wonderful care of you. Just relax sweetheart, we'll take it slow..."