The Phoenix Archer ∞ Peter Pevensie

ii. | F I F T E E N

✧

N E R I S S A

My eyes flutter open as I awaken to the sound of rustling around the room. I'm not sure when, but somewhere along the way after Caspian had left, I'd fallen asleep.

I vaguely remember Peter bundling me up in his arms when he came back some time through the night. Except now, my head was laid comfortably on a pillow instead of Peter's chest.

The room was dark, illuminated by nothing more than a trickle of light that spilt in from between a tiny crack in the curtains that were drawn over the windows.

Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I force myself to focus despite how sluggish I was feeling and how puffy my eyes were from all the crying.

Finally, I spot Peter's figure moving around the room as quietly as he possibly could as he pulled a shirt over his head.

"Peter?" I croaked, "Are you going somewhere?"

Peter freezes, his hand still resting on his belt buckle that he was halfway through fastening it.

"Hey," He offers me a smile as he turns to face me, though I could tell that it was forced, "I didn't mean to wake you."

He sits down on the bed by me, brushing my hair away from my face.

His back was rigid and as much as he tried to give off a carefree appearance, he has still failed to get rid of the set in his shoulders.

"Is something wrong?"

"Of course not," Peter replies with another smile that was just as forced as the first one, "It's nothing to worry about, my darling."

"What's nothing to worry about?" I press.

Peter shakes his head before shrugging it off, "Just going to have a little talk with the troops about how we're going to move forward with this, that's all."

"Well, let me get ready and I can go with you," I say before pushing myself up on my bed, only to be stopped by Peter.

"No, you should stay." He says, "You need to rest, Nerissa. Nothing final is going to be made. How about you sit this one out?"

I shake my head, "I'm fine, Peter. I've rested enough. Just let me get dressed and we can be on our way."

I get to my feet before moving past Peter, only to be stopped by his hand on my bicep, firm enough to get his point across but not rough enough to hurt me.

Turning around, I meet his eyes. There was the same stubborn set to them that I see when he's made up his made- much like how he is with Caspian.

"I'm sorry, darling. I can't let you do that."

I tense at his words and a scoff escapes my lips before I could help it, "You can't let me? I never knew you had a say over what I can and cannot do, your Majesty."

My words come across harsher than I intended them to, but I already knew where this was going. I didn't mean to snap, but the raging headache that was starting to build was getting to me- not that that was any excuse.

"That's not what I meant. You need to rest."

"I've been resting, Peter. I've been stuck in here for three days. I'm fine."

"No, you're not!" Peter raises his voice, taking me aback.

He then shuts his eyes taking a deep breath as he reins in his temper before he continues. "I know something is wrong, Nerissa. If you'd just tell me what it is then we can find a way to fix this together."

I take a deep breath, taking a minute to calm myself down as well before I spoke again.

"I already told you, Peter. There's nothing wrong."

"You're lying." He accuses, "I know you, Nerissa. So well it feels like I know you better than I know myself sometimes. And whatever it is you feel like you can't tell me, I assure you, you can. I can tell you've been crying and it's killing me to see you like this. So please, just tell me."

The moment his eyes softens, all the anger that had taken over goes out the window and my heart aches at the sight of him. The look of concern in is his eyes were unmistakable and he looks more dishevelled because of it.

Swallowing hard, I say. "I feel like you already have an idea." I study his face, but it remains passive, "You just don't want to believe it."

The words come out sounding more like a whisper. Just as he'd said it feels like he knows me better than he knows himself sometimes, I feel the same way. I see the way he looks at me. Though he'll never admit it, even to himself- he knows. It's just that sometimes denial has a tendency to blind you in the same way love does.

The room is silent for a moment, only filled with Peter's heavy breaths as his chest rises and falls at such a rate I'm worried he'll soon start to hyperventilate. The clench of his jaw tells me everything I need to know.

"Peter, there's nothing any of us can do to fix it," I admit aloud for the first time. Though I've never said it, I knew my fate and I've made my peace with it. Though, I can't say the same for Peter. "No matter how much you try to prevent it, it's still going to result in the same outcome. You can't just keep me trapped in a room hoping that I'll get better because I won't. Regardless of anything, I still have my warrior duties to fulfil."

His eyes are fixated on the wall behind me for a couple of minutes, saying nothing and the silence makes me restless.

"Please say something." I plead.

Finally, he looks at me. "Darling, I love you, and I'll never stop loving you." He says the words with so much conviction it feels as the air has gotten knocked out of my chest, "I love you so much it hurts sometimes when you're away. I know what it feels like to live without you and I never want to have to go through that again. I just got you back, Darling. I can't lose you again."

Peter pauses again and I see the raging battle behind his eyes as he struggles with himself, opening his mouth to say something before snapping it shut again as if he's unsure about what he's about to say.

He straightens his spine, raising his chin and when he finally speaks, his words make my stomach drop. "I hereby relieve you of your warrior duties."

"What? You can't just do that!" I yell.

"I'm sorry, Nerissa." He says, his eyes displaying genuine guilt as he backs away towards the door. "Get some rest."

"Are you going to make that an order too, your Majesty?" I grit out.

Peter's eyes hold mine, "I'm sorry." He mutters before he leaves the room, leaving me staring at the closed door.

Anger rushes through me as I scramble around the room, getting dressed and gathering my weapons in a hurry. I was never one to just follow orders blindly.