41: The Heavy

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Ridge and I were standing on the bridge and I was lost

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Ridge and I were standing on the bridge and I was lost. I hadn't realised what I had done, until now.

I had said 'yes' to Derek. I had said 'yes' to Derek when I had a date pending with Ridge. I had been so happy that I forgot completely about the date with Ridge.

"It has been so crazy lately," Ridge says and pulled me out of my thoughts. He had both of his hands in his coat pockets and he looked worn out. Finally, the crazy has been catching up to someone.

"Yeah. I never got the chance to ask. Are you okay?" I asked him, like he had once asked me. It's crazy how the tables have turned.

That feels like a lifetime ago.

"I am okay." He gives me a polite smile, "How are you?" He asked and then turned to face me.

"I'm good. The situation could've been better, but, I'm okay," I said to him. I finally saw his face from the front and he looked lost, broken and worst of all, not like himself. But, he was good at hiding it.

"Yeah, seems like you've to wait longer for our second date," Ridge said and smiled at me. He was not serious, he was just trying to lighten up the mood. But my heart sank when I thought about going on a date with anyone other than Derek.

What broke my heart even more was the fact that Ridge was the one asking me for the second date. I couldn't do this to him. I couldn't lead him on, when I know that I'm in love with Derek. I could pretend if it would've helped Ridge. But I know that's not the case.

This won't help him, it would only hurt him more and I can't do this to him. Not him as in Ridge Ashton, the leader of the Affluents. But, Ridge, my Ridge, just my Ridge.

"Ridge, No!" I spoke, with determination.

Ridge's eyes went soft, but his jaw tightened. "No?" He asked even though I think he knew what I was talking about.

"No! I can't go on a date with you," I spoke, gathering all the courage that I could muster. I looked into his eyes, trying to find something.

Ridge's eyes went watery. I could see how his left eye twitched and he looked away from me, turning to his side and facing the woods again.

"You can change your answer. I'll pretend I didn't hear it," Ridge said with a pained smile on his face, as he looked away.

My heart broke at his statement and I couldn't stand properly knowing that he can't even look at me right now. I took a step closer to him and he tightened his grip on the railing in front of him, as if asking me not to do it, not to touch him or take further steps.

But I had to do it.

Breaking someone's heart is tough. But, the toughest thing is when you've to break the heart of someone who's nice. The girl chooses the right guy in the end when she normally finds out that the good guy she's been obsessing over, for a long time isn't actually that nice. He has been bad all along.

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