chapter 50

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Forth's pov:

I readied myself mentally for a while before wearing some sweatpants and going out.

Beam was sitting on the bed playing on his phone, probably looking at the pictures he took today.

I cleared my throat to get his attention.

He looked up smiling but that smile disappeared when he saw my torso.

I gripped my arms getting increasingly uncomfortable and insecure with the eerie silence in the room.

He wasn't saying anything and just staring.

I covered my stomach with my arms when it got too much.

I could feel my eyes tearing up.

Is he going to reject me?

He snapped out of it and walked quickly towards me.

He gripped my arms and pulled them away.

"D-did you do th-this yourself?" He looked at me.

I noticed his eyes were also starting to tear up.

I bit my lips and nodded.

His gaze went back to my stomach.

He traced the carved words one by one.

Useless.

Worthless.

Defective.

Trash.

Moron.

Waste of space.

Mistake.

Dumb.

Unwanted.

"When..." He looked back up at me.

He went to the bed, took his phone and gave it to me.

I started when i was in middle school. I kept doing it until third year in high school. I carved over them again and again everytime they healed.

A set of tears made their way down his face.

He looked at my chest which had multiple lines on them.

"These are scratch marks...." He muttered as he gently ran his fingers on them.

I slowly nodded.

He then looked at the scars on my upper arms and my shoulder.

The ones which were given by my dad.

"H-he b-burned you?" He asked shakily.

Tears streamed down my face.

I nodded.

Sometimes he used a torch and other times he used his cigarette lighter.

His expression turned into one of pure horror.

"Wh-what about your back?" He looked up at me.

I bit my lips and turned around.

I could hear him gasp.

My back is covered in scars from when he whipped me with his belt until i bled.

He slowly traced the scars.

Tears streamed down my face nonstop.

The memories were flashing infront of my eyes.

Me screaming, begging him to stop. Him saying i deserve every second of it.

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