Okay, Fine

Chapter 18

So happy to have an update in, I love this story so much. I have the ending in mind already!! This is somewhat a longer chapter. I plan on updating really soon, since the next parts are very key to the story and I'm eager to let you guys know about Harry's past and all! 

Update might be within the next 24 hours or by next week! All depends on how my day tomorrow plays out for me, but I want it up soon!

Again, I love you so much. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!

If possible please comment your thoughts and vote. mwah. Goodnight/day. Remember how amazing you are. 

I hope you know the lyric "you're so golden" is about you. ;) Stay safe during these hard times as well. 

Ingrid 

Spending the day with my dad had made me pretty emotional. Once we had gotten to the bus I couldn't handle keeping in my tears, I had to let them out. My dad brought up my mom constantly, and honestly, I wasn't upset about the memories, I was upset that I couldn't remember them. I didn't remember the story he told me about her picking me up from school for the first time, or all my tantrums, nothing, I had forgotten her scent, it's all fading from me. I want to focus on remembering my mother more, I want to hug her one last time. If I had known the last time I would've saw her would've been the last, I would've hugged her and never let go. 

I wish so badly I had been me that day. I wanted to be the one six feet underground, my parents could've had a new child, but I can't have a new mother. My mother would be able to remember every moment she had with me, but I was too young to comprehend half of what was going on in my life. When I was out with my dad he pulled up a picture of me as a child, my tooth missing as I smiled for the school picture, my brown hair laying down to my shoulder with my bangs perfectly cut to the top of my eyebrows. The girl I was looking at in that picture can't be the same girl I am today. That little girl never cared about anything, not about the number on the scale, not about trying to please her dad and pretend she likes that he has a new life, she didn't constantly doubt herself because of her boyfriend's exgirlfriend. She was carefree, free of thoughts and therefore free of pain. 

Harry: baby you still asleep?

Me: I'm up :)

Harry: Ready to talk about last night?

Me: We don't have to I'm feeling better 

Harry: I'd still like to talk about it, I don't like seeing you like that 

Me: You weren't supposed to because it wasn't worth you seeing me anyway, I'm fine really 

Harry: We are gonna talk about it 

Me: Stubborn much?

Harry: Yeah

Me: Okay, fine we'll talk later 

Harry: Okay, Fine 

Me: stop agreeing with me 

Harry: Okay, Fine 

Me: Okay, Fine 

After Harry texted me I decided on getting out of the tour bus cubby, and getting ready for the day. I woke up with a hungry stomach like I do most mornings. I hated hunger, but I hated being full, I hated feeling or seeing the stomach pouch I had. Janice didn't have it, none of her friends have one, how?!

"Ingo, here I made you a peanut butter sandwich," my dad hands me as soon as I wake up. 

"Oh, thank you dad," I smile and accept it out of his hand.