Sweetest Amore

T R E N T O T T O

— ᴀ.s.

"Is there anything else I could help you with? Feeding? Bathing?" A brown-haired nurse asked while crunching next to me and going through her stuff in a medicine cabinet.

"No, everything is fine. I know the rest." I said politely but couldn't keep my eyes from wandering towards Xavier.

My heart skipped a beat as my eyes took him in. He was leaning shirtless on the chair with Ehno sleeping peacefully on his naked chest.

Yesterday was two months since the boys were born and today, finally, after so much of their stay here, they are finally coming home.

I was discharged five days after their birth and since they were premature they needed to stay longer, especially Xavion because of his condition. Although after the first two weeks he started to gain on his weight and showing better results.

"He is a fighter. He will be okay. All we need to do is trust in him and show him our love." Those were Isabella's words the first day I returned back home.

Home. Strange word. A home is a place that you feel safe and without worries, yet I don't have that place, for me that place never existed. I never had a home where I felt safe, where I felt like monsters from the dark can't get me.

All I had was a place to live, but not home. The first time I felt at home was in Xavier's arms, but that didn't last long. Maybe it's me, maybe it's him, or in the end, maybe it's not meant to be.

I can't deny that I still love him, even though everything that happened, I can't find it in myself to hate him. My heart would start to beat fast every time he is near me, every time he passes next to me and I got a smell of his aftershave my stomach would get those butterflies that all schoolgirls are talking about.

I heard his side of the story, I know everything that happened, well almost everything.

My memory from that event still didn't come and I think that it never will. Every time I try to remember something that includes those awful and dreadful days, all I would get is a headache. A strong one for that matter. It is like there is a barrier between me and those memories.

It's not only his side of the story I heard but everyone's and I can't find it in myself to blame them.

They only tried to protect themselves, their family from danger. The danger that was me, at least it was shown as me at that moment.

I'm not defending them and saying that they did it right. Because they didn't, they should do it a different way and not jumping to conclusions especially Xavier, but at the same time, I know that all they saw was treath. A threat to their family. A threat to their safety.

Before this all took a toll on us, on me, they were my family. The only thing close to the real one at least.

"Amore?" I heard Xavier's voice calling me softly making my head shoot up from Ehno's sleeping figure on his chest to his eyes that were already fixed on me. "Are you ready?"