I hate you, I love you

Chapter 19

Valerie

I wander all day thinking if I should go to see him or if I shouldn't.

I couldn't bare the thought of Bass mourning, crying or being sad. It broke my heart.

I needed to be with him, to console him, to hug him. But I was scared, scared of what I might feel, of what I might do.

It was getting late and I hadn't made up my mind.

It was until I spoke to Jim, and he begged me to go give my condolences on his behalf.

What was I supposed to say? No?

So I put on a black dress, and with a knot in my stomach I went to his house.

Breathe in, breathe out.
I told myself all the way to his house. How could he have h to is effect on me? Where all my senses where turned on, about to explode.

When I saw Bass all my feelings came out, he looked so sad, so tired. And I just wanted to hold him, to soothe him.

He was standing there at the kitchen, So I went and hugged him with all my strength, letting him know that I was there for him.

His hot body felt so nice against mine. His manly scent was delicious.

We were so deep in our hug
When I was brought back to reality by Rose.
"Valerie, hey, I didn't know you were coming" she said.
"Hi Mrs. Carter, sorry I came unannounced, Jim asked me to come on his behalf" I said not thinking in my words, I needed an excuse to be here.
And just as I said that Bass's face expression went from happy to see me to I hate you bitch. I shouldn't have said that, not in front of Bass.
"That's great, it's so nice of you to come" Rose said.
I smiled to Mrs. Carter and then I turned my face to Bass
"Thanks for coming Valerie, it was so nice to see you" he said sooo politely putting on a wall between us. He started to walk towards the door.
"Bass" I said looking to my back to check if we were alone, he turned to me like he didn't want to "I didn't mean that, sorry I don't know what I was saying, I got nervous" I said nervously
"I don't know what your talking about" he said so arrogant.
It hurts so much when he had his asshole wall.
"It was so nice of you to come here If Jim couldn't, please thank him for me" he said.
"Bass please stop!" I yelled.
"What?" He asked confused.
"Just take off your fucking wall" I said screaming with tears on my face
"What wall Valerie!?? What do you fucking want from me!??" He said coming closer.
"I....I.... " I stumbled with my words and just as I was going to say that I wanted him, Darla approached and grabbed Bass's hand.
And I was shocked with what was I about to say. I felt panic. I was just about to confess my love for him. To confess that o wanted him, to throw everything over the board for him.
"Is everything okey?" Darla asked when she saw me covered with tears. I couldn't speak. So Bass answered for me.
"Yeah, Valerie here is just too sensitive when it comes to funerals"
"Come on, everyone wants to say goodbye to you" Darla said, she grabbed him by the waist and walked with him to where everyone was.
I stood there still in shock.
I wiped my tears.
I was about to throw everything away, to confess everything to him.

I don't know how much time I was there in the kitchen. I couldn't get out like this, I was a mess, I took a seat in one of the stools and rested my head on the counter.

Suddenly I felt an arm caressing my shoulder. I raised my head to see an old lady in a black lace dress.

"Sweetie are you okey, can I get you something?" She asked sweetly.
"No thank you, I'm sorry, I was just leaving" I said standing up.
"No, please stay, I'll get you a coffee" she said.
"Thanks" I smiled as she poured me a cup of coffee
"I'm Sylvie, I'm Sebastian's nanny" she said.
"Valerie" I said.
" ohhhh so you are the famous Valerie" she said surprised
"Famous?" I asked
"Well not famous, just famous to me" what?
"Why?"
"You know why sweetie" she said.
I blushed. Was Bass talking about me with his nanny?

Sylvie started to walk to the kitchen door,
"I'll let you to whatever you were doing, just a word of advice, don't let this go, whatever you have with him, don't let him go"
"Why? Why are you telling me this?" I asked confused.
"Because, and please don't tell Bass that I told you this, but I've never seen him like this before, so affected by a girl, you affect him in so many ways"
And then Sylvie left me alone in the kitchen. I took a sip of the coffee and tried to calm myself.

You affect him in so many ways

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A/N

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