𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐇𝐀 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋: 𝐤𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

(xxxi) shikamaru

y/n felt numb, sitting down on the ground and putting her head in her hands.

"asuma? dead?"

her vision went blurry as she tried not to let tears fall. that's when she realised.

"does yuhi kurenai know?", she asked the shinobi that had showed up

"tsunade-sama has sent people to inform everyone close to him"

she got up, "when is the funeral?"

"tomorrow"

"okay", she said quietly, walking away, "naruto i'll be back"

she went home, trying to compose herself.

"it's okay. people die. this is not new to you."

now don't get me wrong. she didn't have feelings for asuma. but they still were friends. good friends at that. and it killed her that he would never be able to meet his kid, or have an actual life with kurenai. because he was just gone.

"tsunade-sama was right. life as a shinobi really is unpredictable."

she went to see kurenai. complete wreck. there wasn't much she could say to comfort her. she just hugged her, knowing that losing someone you love was a weight much too great.

the funeral was... well just what you would expect a funeral to be. solemn, quiet, a few sounds of people sobbing. y/n was used to the atmosphere.

she turned to ino and choji, who were also crying. "shikamaru?"

"he didn't show up", ino said, wiping her tears only for them to fall again.

y/n left at once to find him, but he was nowhere to be seen. she spent the evening in the spot where shikamaru usually laid down to look at the clouds, wondering what he must be thinking.

"hey", kakashi's voice made her look up

"hello", she said, and then suddenly sat up, "oh shit you were discharged today i'm so sorry i wasn't there-"

"don't be stupid y/n", he sat down next to her, "how are you doing?"

"it's just..", she sighed, "i can't believe he's gone"

he pulled her into a hug. "me neither"

she hugged back, taking a deep breath. "don't you dare die okay?"

he chuckled, "yes ma'am"

around nighttime she walked into nara territory, stopping outside shikamaru's house. she walked in, but took two steps back hearing the sound of something crashing. a scream followed. she ran inside to check it out only to bump into someone.

"shikaku-sama", she said, "what's-"

"i told him to let it out", he said, looking down. he was well aware of her attachment to his son. he'd always thought she was a good influence on him, replacing his laziness with ambition whenever she got a chance. "go see him if you want"

she nodded, cautiously approaching the room the cries were coming from. her heart sank to see shikamaru in a corner of the room, crying as if he was never going to stop. the crash heard earlier was that of a shogi board toppled over.

he looked at her when she walked in, hardly acknowledging her presence. she sat down in front of him, putting a hand on his shoulder. he pushed her hand away.

"it was my fault", he said quietly, "it's my fault he's gone"

she sighed, putting her hand back where it was. "no it's not"

"YES IT IS", he yelled, pushing her hand away again. and just the next second, threw his arms around her. she held him tight, rubbing his back as he cried into her shoulder.

they stayed that way for a while before he broke away, going deep into thought. she busied herself by putting the fallen shogi board back in its place, gathering the pieces to put them in order. she laid it down in front of him.

understanding her gesture, he sat up, staring at the board before moving a piece. he took a deep breath.

"thank you, y/n sensei"

"avenge him like i know you can"
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i think i just write whatever i wanted to do when i watched a certain scene in the series. like when i saw shikamaru break down i literally wished i could go through the screen to console him :/