𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐇𝐀 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋: 𝐤𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

(xxxvii) repression

"TSUNADE-SAMA", the silver haired jonin burst into the hokage's office. one week has passed since itachi had died and he had only just heard the news.

"here we go", tsunade muttered under her breath

"how could you?", he asked angrily, "how could you send her on that mission?"

"how was i supposed to know that he would be dead by the time she got there?!", tsunade yelled

"you made her pain a thousand times worse instead of mending it", he slammed a document on the table. "my mission was a success. bye."

he stormed out to run to y/n's house.

in the past week, no one had really seen her around. she mostly just stayed in her room unless called for some menial job by tsunade. even then, her face bore an icy expression.

the only people that came to visit her were shikamaru and kurenai. naruto tried to cheer her up despite being pretty torn up himself. and then also she didn't talk much.

kakashi felt such intense guilt that he wasn't there for her even though it wasn't technically his fault. especially since he was the one she needed to see the most.

a vigorous knock was heard at the door of y/n's apartment. she sighed, getting up to see who it was this time.

"hey", kakashi said, walking in through the door and pulling his mask down to kiss her.

"any word on pain?", y/n asked, ignoring his question

"uh... we don't know yet", he paused, looking at her pale face. her apartment was a mess, she looked sleep deprived. the usually so meticulous and responsible y/n seemed to have disappeared. it seemed as if she hadn't eaten either.

"she's far from okay"

"tsunade-sama should send people to find out what's going on on that front", she said

"y/n.."

"don't you think?", she asked, turning around to face him

"y/n sit down for a minute", he said

"tch", she sat down, "what"

"how are you?", he asked

her bottom lip trembled, "i'm fine"

"don't lie to me", he frowned, moving closer to her, "you're anything but"

she leaned forward, resting her face in her hands, "i'm- i'm not-", her voice broke mid-sentence

"y/n!", he beckoned her to look up, "it's okay"

he watched as a single tear fell from her eye. but as more tears began to fall, she blinked them away.

he crouched down in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders, "stop fighting it"

her body began to shake at his words. it was useless to fight the tears any longer. she broke down. he sat back next to her, wrapping his arms around her as she cried.

"i-i-", she tried to get words out only to sob again, "e-everyone is fucking d-dying. i-itachi. he's- he's g-gone"

"i'm so sorry i wasn't here earlier", he whispered, kissing her forehead softly. seeing her like this was hard for him, but of course he couldn't complain.

she hated crying. the last time she'd cried was when she became a jonin. kakashi was there then too. that was seven years ago.

seven years. seven years worth of repressed feelings broke through and her body spasmed as tears uncontrollably fell from her eyes.

it went on for quite some time. kakashi laid on the couch with y/n on top of him. one of his hands ran up and down her back in a comforting manner as the other played with her hair. she fell apart so completely that the only thing holding her together was him.

the speed at which the tears fell finally seemed to slow down. her eyelids drooped, unable to let her keep her bloodshot eyes open any longer. and for the first time in days, she fell asleep.

soon, it was nighttime. kakashi had no intention of leaving. but he found himself unable to move without waking her up. so he bit his finger, laying it on the table beside y/n's couch. at once pakkun appeared.

"kakashi? what- huh?", the dog looked at his surroundings, confused as to why kakashi would summon him right now. he then looked at y/n, who was asleep on top of him.

"can you bring a blanket from y/n's room?", he requested

"SERIOUSLY?! that's why you summoned me?", the dog whisper-shouted, trying not to wake y/n up.

"PLEASE JUST DO IT", he replied in a similar tone

just then pakkun noticed y/n's swollen eyes and the very visible streaks formed by tears on her face. "is she okay?"

"she will be", kakashi said, brushing some hair out of her eyes, "eventually"

"okay", pakkun sighed, "i won't ask for too many details. where are the blankets?"

"first cupboard from the left in her room", he directed, "thanks pakkun"

"don't get too used to this. you're lucky i like y/n. when she summons me i actually feel like going."

kakashi grinned, "i don't know whether to be grateful or offended"

pakkun somehow managed to get the blanket to the couch. he put it over the two as they slept. but what they didn't know was that the next day would bring more chaos than anyone could've ever imagined.
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it's time for the world to know pain

i love the fan-art i've used in the beginning like awwwww

also it's my birthday today yay