i accidentally met dream

seventeen

TW // mentions of drugs? and a small amount of death

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The sun shining through the blinds and curtains woke me up, but not Clay. He was still asleep, sound asleep, in the same position that we fell asleep in, except our legs were tangled. The sun was barely shining through, so I guess it seemed brighter when I had my eyes closed. I tried to find a time where my head could move, but there was nothing because Clay was in the way. I sighed in defeat, allowing him to hold me a little while longer before I had to wake him up and make him feel embarrassed.

I wish we could stay like this, forever. I wish this was how I woke up every day. In his arms, close to him, feeling his warmth.

Right before I woke him up, he grunted a little bit, shifting the both of us a bit, making him roll off the couch with me on top of him. He opens his eyes, immediately getting red. "Ouch." He mumbles, rubbing the back of his head. I move off of him.

"Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't realize we were so close." He looked away from me as he sat up. I feel cold now.

"Aha-" I looked away as well, still sitting on the floor. "Yeah. Uh- Good morning."

"Good morning (Y/n)." He smiled, standing up and stretching. He holds his hand out, waiting for me to take it. I do so and he pulls me up to my feet.

"Hungry? I have frozen waffles." I smiled, laughing a bit afterwards.

"What if we went out to breakfast?" He looked down at me. "Don't get me wrong, frozen waffles sound great, but wouldn't you enjoy something a little more, I don't know, fresh?"

"I don't know, maybe? We can always do UberEats or do Postmates too." I sigh, plopping my body onto the couch. "I'm not really one for going out when I'm off work."

"Then we'll UberEats." He says, sitting down.

We discuss for a short bit and agree on a place to order. He decides to order and pay which was an argument in itself. I told him multiple times I would pay because of those few times way back when he took me to the beach. He paid for the fast food and he paid for the ice cream. That is still something I owe him for.

My phone went off and I quickly unlocked it to check it. It was Marc, from the grocery store. It's been a while since I texted and hung out with him, so I was surprised to see a text from him.

heya girly! it's been a while since we've texted, and i know we were just workmates. i'm just inviting you to a party my boyfriend is throwing, he said invite everyone i know and you came to mind. it's at his place, [insert random address] on friday at like 7pm ish. you don't have to come, but i think it'll be fun for you to unwind. we can catch up! love ya!

hey marc :) i'll think about it! sounds like fun

"Fun", heh... ok (Y/n).

I roll my eyes and Clay catches me.

"What was that for?" He looks away from his phone, I'm guessing from scrolling through twitter or texting one of the dream team members.

"A friend back when I worked at the grocery store invited me to a party." I held my phone up, showing him the text.

"That sounds sketchy, I wouldn't go." He mumbles, looking back at his phone. "But it's your decision." I take the phone back and look at it.

"I think I might go." Just to spite you. "It might be fun." It won't be because I'll probably get a drink and it ends up getting spiked. "I need to be more social." I'd rather hang out with you, Clay.

I sigh, waiting for Clay to tell me the food has been delivered.

+++

We finished eating in complete silence.

"I'm going up north for a couple weeks this winter." I mumbled, finishing the french toast that was left on my plate.

"For the snow?"

"To see my parents."

"Oh.." He pauses, then opens his mouth again. "Speaking of your parents, are you comfortable talking about it?"

"They were druggies, always into illegal activities. I'm surprised I was born without defects. Like, I'm okay. I'm doing alright. I don't get it." I sighed, looking out the window to my left. "But I think I should see them, or at least see if I have anything left at the house. I really avoid it since they've talked about putting me in the child service system, but have never done it because they were too drugged up to even make a phone call or to drive."

He doesn't talk, he only listens so I continue with a deep breath. It's kinda nice. I know Dani listens to me talk, but this is different because I like Clay.

"So growing up was weird. I never really fell under their path, I never really wanted to grow up the way they lived. I passed all my classes, I got myself a job and my old friend took me to get my driver's license, stuff my parents could never do for me. I've been so away from them for years-"

"How old are you? I probably should've asked before, but you look like an adult so I didn't."

"21." I looked at him and he's watching me, watching my movements and expressions.

"You look younger, like 18-19. I would've never guessed-"

"I get that a lot and I think it's because I never fell into what my parents did and I took care of myself. It's been years since I've seen them and honestly, I think I'm ready to have a talk with them, a heart to heart talk with them, unless they're dead or something. I'm ready to forgive and forget." I take a deep breath and let it go, trying to calm my nerves. "I appreciate you hearing this. Dani is the only other person I've talked to about this, but it's nice having someone else know."

He reaches over and rubs my back. I'm honestly glad we aren't together right now. I'm emotionally unavailable to date with the constant thinking about my past thing. I think maybe after I fix the relationship with my parents, I'll be ready to be with someone. "Of course. I'm here for you." He smiles softly at me and stops rubbing my back, giving it a light pat before removing it. "Speaking of Dani, what does she know? Like, she doesn't know what I look like, does she?"

"No, but even if she did, she wouldn't tell a soul. But she doesn't know. She only knows that I know you." I look over at him, wondering why he even asked, but I remember he's a faceless youtuber that hasn't shared what he looked like with anyone except his close friends and his family. Then it completely hit me. I know Drista's name and what she looks like.