Loving the Sky (College Series #3)

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

TW: Mention of Abortion

Parang bulang nawala ang mahika ng saya ko kanina dahil sa galit na tinig at tingin niya. Ang akala kong magtatagal na gaan ng pakiramdam ay mabilis na napatungan ng bigat dahil sa sinabi niya.

"I will always despise you and your fucking dream," he muttered, finally coming back to his senses that I did him wrong... or that was what he believed in.

The hollow auditorium on my chest collapsed. The guilt and pain reopened. This time, it was stronger and more persistent. My lips quivered in pain as I stared at his deep hazel-brown eyes, which were looking back at me with rage.

"I did it for... us," I muttered slowly.

"Bullshit!" sigaw niya. "You did it for yourself! Handa kang pumatay para sa pangarap mo!"

I licked my lower lip to fight the urge to answer back. Nakainom siya. Hindi ko dapat sabayan ang galit niya. If he wanted to talk about the past, today wasn't the right time to do that.

"You only care about yourself!"

Walang pagdadalawang isip akong lumabas ng kotse niya dahil hindi ko kayang pakinggan ang mabibigat na paghinga at maaanghang na mga salita. Hindi na rin ako nagulat nang lumabas siya, at halos masira ang pinto ng kanyang sasakyan sa lakas ng pagsara niya roon.

"Bakit ka umiiwas? Does it hurt you, huh, Reese?!"

Diretso ang lakad ko, gusto nang takbuhin ang distansya mula rito hanggang sa pintuan ng bahay dahil ayoko na siyang marinig.

"And you didn't even show remorse for what you did! Ni hindi ka manlang nalungkot! Hindi ka umiyak!"

I closed my eyes tightly and clenched my fists.

"What kind of woman are you?!"

Napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang mahaklit niya ang braso ko paharap sa kanya. His face was full of wrath and resentment. Lumunok ako sa pagbabara ng lalamunan ko. I didn't want to talk about this now. Not when we were not in our normal state of mind.

I bit the insides of my cheeks before caging his hands with mine. I looked at our connection with so much love and longing, but it didn't last long because he immediately shoved me away.

"Magpahinga ka na. Sa susunod na tayo mag-usap..." I whispered, afraid that he'd have another outburst.

"I'm asking you!" he insisted. "Do you regret it?"

Napansin kong humina ang boses niya, dahilan para pagnilayan ko ang nakaraan namin.

For a moment, I wanted to nod and lie. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't able to live my life normally after having an abortion... that I felt repentant about it.

But no. I couldn't lie to him.

I shook my head slowly, avoiding his razor-sharp eyes. I heard him gasp as I tapped my foot on the ground, reminding me to hold on because I deserved his harsh words.

"You..." Disbelief oozed from his tone. "Tao ka pa ba?"

Parang lumubog ang puso ko sa sinabi niya. My heart was thumping so painfully that I pressed the tips of my fingers together to try to keep my emotions under control.

"U-umuwi ka na..."

Muli niya akong pinaharap sa kanya at halos matulala ako nang makita ang pagtulo ng luha sa mata niya na mabilis niya ring pinalis.

"Bakit mo ginawa 'yon?!" he shouted in so much rage. "And now you're acting like we're okay! Na parang wala kang kasalanan sa akin! You keep on seducing me! Na parang hindi mo pinatay ang anak ko!"