Loving the Sky (College Series #3)

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

He was leaning against the wall, shirt unbuttoned and chest bare, looking exhausted, worn out, and upset. He stared back at me, enraged, while I clutched a tiny piece of cloth, pleading for help and sanity.

Unsure, I slowly walked toward him. My steps were small and distraught. Tumigil lang ako nang dalawang metro nalang ang layo ko mula sa kanya. Nakatingin pa rin kami sa isa't isa, parehong may matinding galit ang mga mata.

The overwhelming pain in my heart was drowning me. Hindi ko matatanggap kung sakaling makumpirma ko ang mga naiisip ko. He wouldn't do that... right? Mahal niya ako, 'di ba? He couldn't probably turn his back on me, right?

"S-Saan ka galing?" My voice cracked. Lumunok ako para kalmahin ang sarili dahil kaunti na lang ay sasabog na ako.

He didn't answer. Nanatili ang mga mata niya sa akin. Ni hindi siya gumalaw sa kinatatayuan niya.

"Tapos na 'yong fashion show, Rouge. Bakit ka hindi pumunta?" Lumapit ako sa kanya. "Tell me your reason, p-please!" Basag na basag ang boses ko.

I gripped on his shirt and pulled it. Nakayuko na ako at nakatingin sa magkalapit naming mga sapatos dahil hindi ko kayang salubungin ang tingin niya.

"Please, isang rason lang... tatanggapin ko kahit ano." Nanginig ang labi ko kaya mariin akong pumikit. I could feel it. I could feel the throbbing pain. Parang hinihigit ang puso ko sa pagmamakaawang may rason siya.

"Kahit tungkol kay Solene!" dagdag ko pa. "Kahit pinili mong hanapin siya kaysa puntahan ako, ayos lang! Kahit nakalimutan mo na ngayon 'yong show... ayos lang din!"

I tapped my foot on the ground because I couldn't contain my emotions. Sa bawat segundong lumilipas ay bumibigat ang aking paghinga. I wanted to silence my unwanted thoughts. I wanted to calm my heart... but I couldn't. This was just too much to take.

"Kahit ano, Rouge, parang awa mo na. Tell me. Tell me that it's not your intention to hurt me..." napapaos na sabi ko. "Tell me that you're stuck. Sabihin mo sa akin na nakatulog ka! Na nalasing ka! Na may ginawa kang mas importante kaysa sa akin!"

I breathed out and slowly turned to face him. Wala akong mabasa sa kanya kung hindi galit... na hindi ko alam kung saan nanggaling.

"You didn't abandon me... right?" I urged him, even though I was scared of the answer he might give me. "Mahal mo 'ko, eh! Syempre hindi mo 'yon magagawa sa akin, 'di ba? Kasi mahal mo ako! Kasi magpapakasal tayo after ng graduation!"

I saw how his lips quivered. Matalim ang tingin na iginagawad niya sa akin. Saulong-saulo ko ang ganito. Alam na alam ko kung paano ako natatakot kapag tinitingnan niya ako sa ganitong paraan.

His eyes darkened even more. "You killed our child."

Parang may bombang sumabog sa loob ko sa apat na salitang sinabi niya. Unti-unting lumuwag ang hawak ko sa damit niya dahil sa labis na panghihina.

"What?" I mumbled.

Tumayo siya nang tuwid at pinakatitigan ako. His eyes were bloodshot, but I could see a curtain of tears behind them. His jaw clenched aggressively, tanda ng pagtitimpi ng galit.

"I told you... I will always despise you and your fucking dreams!" he yelled.

Umiling ako nang sunod-sunod. "No! No! You don't despise me! Mahal mo ako! Sinabi mo 'yon!" Halos magmakaawa ako sa kanya. "Ang sabi mo, Rouge, mahal mo ako! Take it back! Don't do this... please."

I didn't know if my eyes were fooling me, but I saw how he wanted to retreat. For a brief second, I noticed that his expression softened... or that is what I thought.