Perries Pov
My anxiety had been really bad for the past few weeks. I hadn't seen the girls recently so they didn't know because we had all been in different places, spending time with our loved ones. It was 7am and I got out of bed to get ready before heading to the studio. I was worried I was going to have a panic attack at the studio. I just hope I can keep it together so the girls don't have to worry about me.
I arrived at the studio to find I wasn't last, which was a change. Jade still wasn't here. I got out of the car when I got a text from jade, in the group chat saying she had just left the house and would be there in about 10 minutes.
I Sat down and me Jesy and Leigh-Ann started talking as we didn't want to start rehearsals without Jade. It had been 20 minutes and Jade still wasn't there and I had started panicking.
J: R u okay Pez
P: Yeah
J: You seem jumpy
Jesy and Leigh-Ann then realised how close to a panic attack Perrie is.
Leigh was instructing her breathing while Jesy was telling her she was alright. During this Jade walks in and Perries breathing settles more naturally.
JT: sorry I'm late is everything alright
P: Yeah
JN: Pez something is wrong and you need to tell us, you were so close to a panic attack and we just want to know why
P: It's because Jade was later then she said and I began to worry and think of everything that could of gone wrong.
JT: Im sorry it's all my
P: No it isn't you are allowed to be a bit late
L: I hate that I have to do this but we need to go to rehearsals. Claude is calling.
The girls all head to rehearsals ready to learn a new dance. They are super excited as they are going to be performing rendezvous (my favourite song) at a winter festival.
Jesys Pov
The new dance to rendezvous was alot of fun but it was a very fast dance and was very easy to mess up. One person who couldn't do the dance to the correct beat of the song was Perrie. She used to find learning choreography really difficult however these days she was really good at it. I had no idea what was wrong.
Claudes Pov
I was teaching the girls the dance to rendezvous and it was going really well. Apart from the fact that Perrie seemed to be on another planet. She just couldn't do the dance in time and was messing up at least one thing in every count of eight. I called a break to give the girls a rest. I wondered if Jesy, Jade or Leigh-Ann had noticed something was up and would ask her about it. I knew she would find it easier to tell them without me in the room so I told them I would be back in an hour and they could practise.
Perries Pov
We were dancing in rehearsals and I just couldn't do the dance right. I knew all the choreography I just couldn't seem to get it at the right time. It was starting to really frustrate me and I was relieved when Claude called a break. Once Claude left the room I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders and I had no idea why. I loved Claude she was an amazing dance coach but for some reason I keep thinking she is judging me for panicking before.
Me and the girls sit down for a few minutes and I just sit and wondering what her opinion of me was.
Jades Pov
We were all sat talking taking a 5 minute break from rehearsals. We were all talking apart from Perrie who seemed to have something on her mind. I though I would ask her an see what she says.
JT: Perrie. Perrie. Perrie. PERRIE.
P: What
JT: I've been shouting for yoh for ages
P: Sorry. what do you need
JT: It's alright and I need you to tell me what's going on in your head
P: Nothing I'm fine
JT: You've been really quiet and there is clearly something wrong
L: You've been weird all day just tell us
P: Im fine
Perrie gets up and runs out the room with Leigh-Ann chasing after her
L: Perrie stop
Perrie keeps running until she drops to the floor having a panic attack
Le igh-Anns Pov
I went after Perrie until she suddenly falls to the floor. I realise that she is having a panic attack and I try and get her to breathe again
L: Breathe Pez
P: I c.ant
L: You can in and out, in and out
I keep instructing Perries breathing until it is normal again. I really need to know what is wrong with her.
L: Well done
P: Im sorry, I hate panic attacks
L: No one likes them and don't apologise it isn't your fault. But you have to tell me what's wrong
P: But you will laugh at me and judge me
L: I wouldn't ever judge you, but you have to tell someone or there not going to stop.
P: The first thing is my anxiety has been really bad recently and it's been making me over think things. Like this morning as you know I was worried about Jade when in reality she was stuck in traffic. When Claude came and told us to go to rehearsals I felt like she was judging me for panicking. Which is why I couldn't get the dance right. That's also what I was thinking about before I ran out here. And that panic attack was because I thought all of use would judge me if I told you my anxiety was bad again.
L: We would never judge you and neither was Claude.
P: I know. I just can't help it
L: Its okay we can help you do you want to go see Jesy and Jade
P: Yeah
L: You should tell them what you have just told me
P: Okay
I have quite a few ideas at the moment so more one shots will be coming soon. I will also be updating Alerrie oneshots sometime today. Thanks for reading xx
