Ideas For Brianrot

Jotaro and Kakyoin Work Retial [shitpost]

Jotaro: Hello, how may I help you.

Costumer: I would like to return this item. Its doesn't fit.

Jotaro: Alright, hand me your receipt and the item - and I will be right on it. [takes the nessary things and does his job] Unfortunately, we have a 30-day return policy and you bought this item over two months ago-

Costumer: That is absolute bullshit! I wasn't told there was a 30 day return policy! How dare your company expliot my unawareness of their stupid ass polices

Jotaro: Yare, yare daze. [sighs] Please, calm down or I will have to call someone.

Costumer: Go on! Call someone! What? Are you scared huh? C'mon! This is the shitest service I have ever seen! Can't you, I don't know just give me the return anyways? Bend the rules?

Jotaro: No. I would potentially lose my job. So take your ill-fitting item and please exit the store.

Comstumer: Or what?

Jotaro: [smirks] I'll call my manager and he'll deal with you.

Comstumer: Fine, you asshole. Bring your manager out here. I would be happy to talk to him.

Jotaro: KAKYOIN! There's a costumer that wants to talk to you!

Kakyoin: [walking out with a pleasant smile] Hello, I'm Kakyoin, the manager- what seems to be the problem here?

Costumer: Your employee is being fucking rude to me! And he says you guys have a 30 day return policy, which is bullshit!

Kakyoin: [still smiling] I sincerely apologize, please. Let me take the item of question off your hands, and I will allow you to get one in the right size - charge free. I apologize profusely for my associates rudeness and any distress he may have caused you. [He shakes their hand] Thank you for your consideration.

Costumer: I...I...That-t's not nessary sir! You flatter me with your kindness, but I will gladly just take my money back.

Kakyoin: [clapping his hands together] Wonderful! Jotaro here, if you will allow him to, will handle your return.

Costumer: [feeling bad] Actually, I think I'll just keep this. It might fit someone else in my family.

Kakyoin: Excellent! I'm so glad we were able to work this out like civilized people! Have a great day! [Waving them goodbye]

Jotaro: [stunned] How the fuck do you manage to do that everytime?

Kakyoin: It's called being passive-agressive.

Another Employee: [breaks something]

Kakyoin: [aura flaring up] Excuse me. [spins on his heel fuming]

Jotaro:... Yeah, sure "passive" agressive.

______________________________________

[working the night shift together]

Kakyoin: [bored out of his mind]

Kakyoin: Hey, wanna go fuck in the storage room? Behind the frozen chicken?

Jotaro: What the fuck-!
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Jotaro: [stocking shelves]

Jotaro: Hey, asshole! Are you gonna help me or not?

Kakyoin: [louging in a cheap beach chair, sipping on a capri-sun]

Kakyoin: No.
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[Jotaro fighting a customer or fellow employee]

Kakyoin: Jotaro! What the hell did they do to warrent such violence-!?

Jotaro: They insulted my mom

Kakyoin:....
Kakyoin: [rolling up his sleeves as he summons Hierophant] I hope you own a shovel Kujo, someone's dying today.
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Jotaro: I brought donuts-!

Kakyoin: [takes the whole box]

Jotaro: Oi! Those are for the whole staff-

Kakyoin: Taxes.

Jotaro: What...?

Kakyoin: [taking them into his office] Taxes.
______________________________________

Employee: [using the coffee machine]

Jotaro: MOVE! I'm gay. [shoves them aside]
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Kakyoin: Yeah, we have fun here. :)

Also Kakyoin: I'm not going to your fucking baby shower, Polneraff!
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Jotaro: [smoking in the break room]

Kakyoin: [walks in]

Jotaro: ....if you report me I'll break your balls.

Kakyoin: Hand me that.

Jotaro: What-?

Kakyoin: GIVE ME THE CIGARETTE!
Kakyoin: [takes a long drag from it]
Kakyoin: ...I fucking hate it here.
______________________________________

Costumer: [their baby is crying]

Kakyoin: COULD YOU SHUT THAT PRODCUT OF PROCREATION UP?

Jotaro: [w h e e z e]
______________________________________

Robber: Open the cash register - now!

Jotaro: [grins]
Kakyoin: [grins]
Them: [smile at each other]

Robber: [sweats]
______________________________________

Kakyoin: I'm a manager now!

Jotaro: Great. His god complex gets a boost.

Polneraff: Noriaki doesn't have a god complex-

Kakyoin: [standing on the counter] I OWN ALL OF YOU!