Rose's Journal

Chapter 31: The Blessing

Julie looked down at the familiar number in her phone. Whenever she felt the way she was feeling now, it was the first one she pulled up from her contacts list. It was one of very few that she had committed to memory, outside of her dad's and her mom's numbers. Her finger hovered over the green button, ready to call. Everything inside of her wanted to call, but she couldn't. She lost the upper hand if she called. Flynn had called her a few times, although less than Julie had expected. It was midnight, and she knew that Flynn was one of the only people that would pick up her call at that hour, not that she could talk to anyone else about this. But the fact of the matter is Flynn hurt her. They don't lie to each other, yet Flynn felt it was okay to sneak behind her back, not only with the investigation with the boys, but also with dating Carrie. She shouldn't call, but she needed to. She finally caved and pressed the button.

Flynn lied in bed, not quite awake, but unable to bring herself to sleep. She just stared at her ceiling fan as it rotated. It was a familiar motion that typically brought her tranquility, but today it wasn't helping. As soon as she was able to get one thought out of her mind, as if clockwork, another one came it. She wanted the stability of that ceiling fan, rotating with a direction and purpose, neither of which Flynn had. Her thoughts were interrupted by a ringing sound from her phone. She sat up and reached over to her nightstand to see who it was, but by the time she reached over, the call was already ended. She checked the notification: "Missing Call: Jules." Flynn smiled wide. Even though Julie hung up, the fact that she thought to call made it evident that their friendship is still salvageable. Flynn swiped on the notification to call Julie back. "C'mon," Flynn prayed under her breath as the phone rang a few times. Suddenly the ringing stopped, and Flynn felt a knot form in her stomach. She was so excited to call Julie back that she hadn't even thought of what she'd say if Julie responded.

"Hi Julie," Flynn said calmly. That was the best she could do. She had no idea what she was supposed to say.

"Why'd you call?" Julie said somewhat sternly. She needed to stand her ground, especially because she called first.

"I was just responding to your call. Sorry I didn't get to the phone in time," Flynn replied, trying to seem unfazed by Julie's tone, but it still hurt.

"It's whatever. I accidentally pressed the button. I realized it was too late at night to talk to backstabbers."

Flynn sighed. She was hurt by this, but she knew she didn't accidentally press the button, even if Julie believed that herself. She knew Julie better than she knew herself sometimes. "Jules, what's wrong?"

"Don't call me Jules."

"Sorry. But I know you better than this. You only call at midnight when you have something on your mind. Hell, you don't stay up this late unless you do. So, what is it?"

Julie sighed. Flynn was always able to figure her out. It's why they were so close, and why it felt impossible for Julie to be mad at her. She had to tell her. "It's the journal, Flynn. Luke gave it to me earlier today, and I've been carrying it around ever since. I need to read it, I know that, but I can't bring myself to it."

Flynn paused. She didn't know that Luke had given her the journal. A lot of the lies were to protect Julie from this information, but now she had it in front of her. "You can read it at your own pace. This is your own decision. Of course, I want you to know the truth, but I won't tell you how to deal with this."

This answer surprised Julie. Flynn had always been the one seeking the truth and seeking to understand every aspect of things. She had been like that ever since her mom left her. There was so much unanswered there that she couldn't leave anything else unanswered. If Flynn had an idea, she wouldn't drop it for anything. "Why aren't you pushing me to read it?" Julie asked.