Rose's Journal

Chapter 35: The Fear

Flynn and Julie sat in the car, waiting a little bit before driving by to make sure Alex was still there. They needed to make sure he didn't bail. However, even though they were okay now, there was still a tension between them. Not all would be okay immediately, and they both agreed to that. But that wasn't the main reason for the silence. Julie seemed off, which wasn't surprising to Flynn.

"Julie, are you okay?" Flynn said, looking at Julie's emotionless face as she stared off into the distance. Flynn knew the answer, but she just wanted to hear her say it.

"What? Oh yeah, yeah I'm fine," Julie replied, slightly flustered but still with a dazed look in her eyes.

"You can't hide this from me. I know you're upset, and I know that you didn't sleep last night," Flynn said with a concerned look.

"I slept."

"No, you didn't. You were up all-night thinking about you mom, and everything else going on. I know you too well to not see that in the way you're acting."

"You know, you're not always right."

"But I am right in this case, aren't I?"

"Yeah, it's just that I want to help her, you know? But I have no idea how. And it doesn't even seem like she wants help."

"What do you mean?"

Julie sighed. "When she brought up the jolts, it was like she had given up. Maybe being trapped broke her. It just hurt because she was just here..." Julie began to tear up "...and I just wanted her to be back, and I thought she was. For an hour, she was back to me. I know it wouldn't have been the same, but it was something. Something was better than the emptiness and the constant wondering of why the boys came to me, and my mom never did. But now I'm going to lose her all over again and won't even have the satisfaction of thinking she's in heaven, or whatever good comes after all of this?" Julie's sobs grew louder as she leaned onto Flynn. "I can't do this again, Flynn. I just can't."

Flynn's shoulder became soaked in tears as Julie's sobs grew louder and louder. There was nothing Flynn could do other than comfort her. This was unprecedented, even with all the crazy shit they've been through. With Julie, she learned she either had to push her to solve her problems or distract her from them. Today, she needed to distract her, and she was okay with that.

"Hey, why don't we go check up on Alex. Make sure he didn't run," Flynn said, attempting to mask her own tears that began to form as she watched her best friend cry.

"Yeah," Julie sniffled as she picked her head off Flynn's shoulder. "We have to make sure that idiot stayed."

Flynn slightly giggled as she started the car back up. She pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street that the museum was on. She kept checking back on Julie, who was still looking blankly out her passenger window, watching the cars pass as her mind reeled with thoughts of her mom and of all the horrible possibilities that weren't in her head two days ago. But now, she couldn't escape them. They passed by the museum, which was on Julie's side. Despite the people behind her honking, Flynn slowed down so that Julie could see if Alex were still in there or not.

"He's still there," Julie said, a slight smile forming on her face. "And it looks like they're talking."

"He figured it out," Flynn responded. "And you will figure it out too. We can still help your mom."

Julie stayed silent as Flynn and she drove to a local coffee shop about half a mile away from the museum. Flynn may have said that they can still help her mom, but that wasn't a guarantee. She wanted time to stop. She wanted her and her mom to have a chance to at least reconnect before she was whisked away again. Again. She couldn't escape this pattern of uncertainty and fear and regret. So, she just sat there silently, praying for a miracle that would fix everything.