MY YEARS WITHOUT YOU

Part 28- Finding Hope

Dedicated to all my readers. You all are wonderful. ❤

Happy new year people,
I'm so grateful for the past year.
You made it possible for me to commit to this book and I'm proud to say that I'm almost through with it.

Shout out to my supporters ,
I love you all and wish you the best for 2021🍻🍾

~Amara's POV~

It wouldn't be wrong to say that life chooses who to treat fair.
At that point, I had stopped believing in whatever fate might have had in store for me.

Only few weeks back, I had sat in the same visiting room excitedly, waiting for Nathan to walk towards me.

I had waited impatiently , filled with so much excitement as the thought of telling him about his baby eluded me.

I saw the happiness he felt, and I felt it too because it was mutual.
It was 'our' baby.

He would rub my invisible bump gently each time I visited and speak sooting words to his child.

I would smile at this gesture and he would reach for my hands afterwards, planting soft kisses on them.

It meant so much to him, that he was going to be a father.

Just few weeks after,
I sat there again in the visiting room, waiting for Nathan to walk in,
wearing his blue uniform and probably a smile on his face too when he sees me.

But this time, I wasn't going to smile back genuinely at him.
It was going to be a smile , concealing so much pain and guilt.

"Hey" he smiled as he sat.

I must have been lost in thoughts that I hadn't noticed him come in.

"You seemed out of this world. Hope it's not me?" He asked smiling calmly.

I shook my head as I smiled back at him.

"Hey little one, Dad's here" he said reaching for my tummy as he always did.

He placed one hand on it and looked up to me as he smiled reaching for my hand as always.

"You don't look good Amara. What's troubling you?" He asked searching for my eyes which weren't looking at him.

I was silent. He couldn't see the tears forming in my eyes because I wouldn't let him to.

"Your little one is not in here anymore" I uttered still avoiding his eyes.

"Where did he go?" I heard him say in between chuckles.
But I could feel the fear in his voice, like he really wanted it to be a joke.

"I miscarried" I said as slowly as I could with tears following afterwards.

I felt his hand leave mine and for a short while, I stole a glance at him.

His eyes were turning red and wet.
His hands held on so tight to the table between us, like he was transferring all he felt therein.